Being the In-Between Girl, A Rant.
I’ve noticed, that most of my relationships (most nowadays, actually) aren’t really relationships after all. At least that’s what I’m told. I seem to always find myself in relationships where a title is never really given, and that somehow means that if the relationship is to come to an end it doesn’t really matter because we never decided we were anything to begin with. No, I’m not talking about friend with benefits situations or anything like that, but relationships where actual connections are made.
Let me expand. These relationships are the ones where you spend at least a few months with each other and you legitimately act as you would if you were dating. You may (or may not) act like a couple in front of your friends, but they all definitely know something is going on. You may act like a couple in certain public settings, hell you may even meet the parents.. but you brush all of this off by saying that you aren’t actually together or it’s casual and you’re still single, even though its been 4 months and you’re definitely not. You devote yourself to this person yet just because you decide you don’t want all of the world to know, you don’t label it and boom- it’s suddenly not valid. Maybe it’s just me, but I believe that just because you don’t say you’re in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean you don’t HAVE a relationship with someone (sounds like common sense, right?). Especially when it’s over. You spent a good portion of your year with this person and when it’s over you’re just supposed to brush it off because it was never “real”. BULLSHIT. You can still be hurt and go through a break-up!! because it was a break-up!! you BROKE. UP! I don’t know, I’m just always the “yeah we fuck and she’s cool” girl, but never the “Yeah we fuck and she’s cool so I actually think I want something real with her” girl. I’m constantly stuck in pointless relationships that do not benefit me in the slightest. I’m not saying I’m looking for my soulmate in every relationship, but it’s not like I’m not looking for that, either. I guess I just don’t understand how the title of something determines the validity. If we weren’t dating but we weren’t not dating, what were we? And why am I not allowed to be upset when we end whatever that thing may be?
I’m not exactly sure where this post went but that’s my word vomit for the night. Rant over. Sorry you’re the one who gets to read it.