The Inward Spiral Phase

Lauren Sheehan
Mar 11 · 3 min read

Lay down your burdens she said. Lay down your life she said.

Exhale deeply into your belly and out into the trees around you, they will make great use of your last breath and your last rights of this year my darling daughter.

Ydhen didn’t fully comprehend what was being asked of her.

She sat in a circle with her mother and grandmother. In circle with women silver-haired and croned, with women bursting with children, with women young and alert. She sat in circle in her room. Imagining the day when it would come that she wept the tears of the ancestors. So much so she made her own lake, her own ocean even, to sit in. She imagined all the things that would occur on the day she turned 13 that she fell straight onto her back and into a trance-like position in which she found herself listening to the booming voice of her mother (yet not her mother).

Let go Ydhen. Let go.

Haaaaaaahhhhhh

Shoooooo

Haaaaahhhhh

Feel that twinge in your womb, your moon cycle is near, very near. It is the reason you have such simple access to the spirit realm, this trance you are in.

Keep going

Go deeper

Elevate your feet

Breathe and exhale

Go deeper

Your mother is calling you

Your mother….

Ydhen’s eyes open like hawks into a Dreamscape of jungle lands and Lush Greenery. Bright luscious trees and flowers, and dark vibrant sounds. She flew in from the sky and overlooked the lands, feeling free and terrified all at once. She blinked and another world opened her eyes. This time a cityscape. Dark, Dense, Grey Smokey. Was it the same place? she thought

She blinked again.Back to the Jungle she flew and a hawk flew with her beckoning her to a Cliff’s Edge overlooking a great waterfall.

Look.

Said Hawk without speaking.

Look at what they have done to this Earth, this place.

Suddenly the waterfall melted away into the dark ominous cityscape and Ydhen knew. She knew that they were one place in two existences. And she knew in Her Bones somewhere as she exhaled even deeper that somehow she was meant to know this mystery, to study it. Only she knew not why.

She quickly turned to Hawk but he was gone and she woke up.

Blinked.

And her room appeared before her, just as it was.

13

She was just coming up on 13.

Why her? Why now?

She knew better than to ask such unhelpful why questions, “those kinds of questions call forth your mind my love to give you answers to questions that cause you harm. Just don’t do it, you’ll learn.” the voice of her grandmother blared into her being. And so she banished the why voice as best she could and did her best to lay there

inhale

exhale

inhale

exhale

inhale

hold

exhale

ahhhhhhhhh

Her womb clenched. She breathed down deep with soft lips and relaxed jaw, just as she has been taught all her life. Her body was doing its thing, this she trusted beyond all reason, doubt and error.

My body is amazing.

My body knows.

My body… I love her. Ydhen thought and felt sincerely.

She inhaled and filled her entire body with careful attention and gratitude and she exhaled deeply, trepidation aside, and knew that whatever ‘letting go’ was, it was happening to her this very moment.

( A short Story from a novel I’m writing about the Female Spiritual Journey and the Menstrual Cycle)

Lauren Sheehan

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Lauren is a Mama, Wife, Author, Mala Maker, Artist, Knitter, Painter ( pretty much all the creative things). She is pioneering the Feminine Way in life and Biz