At First Glance

Everyday I ponder what it is I’m “doing” and what it is I want to be “doing”. What should I change my major to? Where will I be this summer? I am constantly thinking, even dreaming, of ways to change my life and become a happier person. My soul relies on optimism. I like to think that everything happens for a reason and there is no task that I can’t handle. I’m confident in my many abilities and I also know that hard work will always pay off. Having a positive attitude towards virtually everything should ultimately help me, right?

More recently, I’ve been struggling with finding what I’m good at, what my niche is. Specifically, declaring my major in University. I’ve received advice from friends, parents, grandparents, and even academic advisors for months now and I can honestly say they’ve both encouraged and sometimes discouraged me to follow my heart, whatever that may be.

I headed to Israel after my high school graduation in pursuit of finding my niche. Essentially, I wanted to learn who I was. Over the course of 11 months, I found what I was looking for, yet somehow I feel completely lost today.

I found who I was in Israel. I uncovered what I pride myself in and the morals I follow in living my life. That is clear as day to me, but discovering what I want to do for the rest of my life is still blurry.

I am a huge people person. I love to make people laugh, I love engaging with people in whatever way I can, and I love learning new languages. I absolutely love travelling and seeing the world through different lenses is what excites me!! I have further learned to feel comfortable expressing myself all while playing with my creative side. However, I know that I need to continue working on many aspects in order to achieve success in any endeavour I choose to pursue. I’m perfectly okay with that and I cant wait to tackle that problem.

Writing this short post in about 10 minutes was relieving. Writing down my worries was freeing and writing down a few things that I love made me feel better. I know there isn’t a distinct path out there for me to follow, rather there is a path with many curves and bumps. I turn 20 next month and I’m quickly realizing it is time for me to stop holding myself back, or even let others hold me back from finding what it is I am truly passionate about and acting on it.