Why people should stay the fuck out of eachother’s plates

Imagine: you’ve just served yourself a plateful of deliciousness. Let’s say the deliciousness is porkchops with black beans and sprouts (that’s an odd combo, but i’ll take it). Next thing you know, a hand pops out of nowhere and tries to steal a porkchops off your plate without asking. In this occasion i’m very likely to stab you in the fucking hand (or eye if that bodypart is within arm’s reach). Other options are a savage and brutal beating or a public stoning.

Why would someone eat out of another person’s plate without asking first? Don’t get me wrong, if you want you can get a piece of me (ha ha) but you just have to ask first. I don’t know why this pisses me off so much I guess it has something to do with evolution, like everything else in this world. My theory is that food used to be scarce and that people are still trying to protect their precious edibles like hunter-gatherers in the stone age. Or I have the temper of a pitbull terrier eating a T-steak.

Either way, I now know I can’t help it when I get agressive the next time someone is scavenging my food. It’s all evolution’s fault.