An Engineered Vision

I remember sitting in the dean’s office during the second semester of my third year and he asked me why my results were plummeting, with tears in my eyes I replied, “I’m uninspired”.

You see this was not my first time to be summoned to the administration office. The previous semester I had been called to the chairperson’s office for the same reason. And I could tell from the look in his eyes, that he wanted to understand where I was coming from. Why was I suddenly struggling. He even went on to ask where I wanted to be attached during my fourth year to which I replied Datlabs ,a pharmaceutical company. I really wanted to experience and understand everything about engineering. Why we would use those equations and how they applied to real life. I had never seen a real plant, I did not know what a batch reactor looked like. However I was still eager to learn. As I took my time to try and grasp those concepts, most of my classmates simply crammed and spotted the exam which made things even more difficult for me as I was failing to keep up.

As a very extroverted person my lack of passion for the degree became visible even at home. My heart was not in it.Soon I joined the majority of those who did not take their time to digest and soon began to cram however due to lack of understanding I was still not performing.

I needed to understand. That was how my brain had always worked, I had to understand! Discouraged I held on to the hope that with my forth year approaching, which meant industrial attachment, I was going to get more than enough time to clear some of the confusion that had accumulated over the three years.

But I was wrong ; Attachment was not a walk in the park either, for the company more students meant free labour instead of a chance to inspire and encourage attaches and to top it all off, my supervisor was not an engineer so I never got to experience engineering in its fullest. So all my hopes were in vain. I was devastated.

Wasted, uninspired and lacking understanding it was in my final year when I then decided that I was not going to pursue chemical engineering because engineering was not for me.