Good and bad.
Pretty or ugly.
Left or right.
Republican or Democrat.
All or nothing.
Male or female.
The world expects us to pick only one word to define us, and scoffs when we “see both sides” or live in the middle. The term “non-binary” is so foreign to those of us who have always lived by fitting in the same box as our peers and not upsetting the status quo.
We even do this to ourselves:
Sugar is bad.
Carbs are bad.
Going to bed on time is good.
Working hard is good.
Skipping chores is bad. …
It’s important to think critically about your development, because most how-to articles aren’t tailored to your specific needs.
I bet you’ve Googled:
“How to be successful.”
“How to wake up early.”
”How to have a hard conversation.”
“How to do chaturanga.”
It’s smart — if it worked for someone else, you should at least try it. You’d save time from trial-and-error, your brain wouldn’t be drained from the thought process of laying out a plan, and you don’t have to wonder if it will work because it obviously worked for at least one person!
Those benefits only remain if that person completely knows your hang-ups, personality type, trauma, and tendencies and their tips work for you completely. …
2020 is stressful… You’re in forced isolation, your job doesn’t look like it used to, and you might not even know when you’ll get toilet paper! Everyone’s basic needs — physiological and safety — are being threatened and we don’t know for how long.
When we are under stress like this, we don’t act our best selves.
Old habits sneak through our filters, and current habits get a spotlight. Most people don’t like what happens when their stress self takes over, because the stress self is acting out of fear and taking the comfortable, fast way out.
The psychological exercise called “re-parenting” is one of the hardest (but most important ) things you’ll ever do. If your parents modeled toxic behaviors, reacted harshly, or planted in you any kind of crappy self-talk, you absorbed it as a child. …