I Am Not Stephen King. My Friends Call Me N.

Courtesy of Pexels free stock photos and negativespace.co

I dreamed of being a rich and famous author since I was in high school. Quitting writing in my early twenties to pursue other dreams, I have only recently taken it up again after 20…well maybe, 30…okay 35(!) years. While many of my ideals, beliefs, and desires have changed, one thing has not and that is my wish to be read and appreciated, and to be paid for my efforts.

I am very chagrined to find that while there are lots of opportunities to publish, there are very few chances to be discovered amidst the overwhelming amount of good writers out there, and even less chance to be paid.

Not to mention, I think a lot of my wit is completely lost on the majority of readers who are younger. They’re twenty, and don’t get why I think Facebook is a spawn of Satan, and Autocorrect his plaything.

I have been sad, mad, regretful, and afraid.

However, after recently reading an article on how most authors today don’t make any money except for those who write for the Young Adult audience (think JK Rowlings and Stephenie Meyers), or Stephen King, I believe I’ve developed an ingenious plan.

I’ve decided to change my name to Not Stephen King. My friends can call me N. Not only do I find this to be a sufficiently cool name for an author, but also I should soon start raking in the dough.

For instance, if someone googles Stephen King I should pop up in the search results, too. At least once in awhile. A few buyers may make the mistake of not noticing the Not in front, while others may just be impressed by my extremely creative attempt at being found.

I may only sell one book.

Though I may be bad at math, even I know that any money I make from a sale is more than I currently make from writing. Which is exactly $0.

Click the heart below to pre-order Not Stephen King’s next book.

See what I did there? Clever, don’t you think?

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