Self Realization that you are not a porn star!!!

I know when you first read this title you thought wait a minute who realizes that they are not a porn star randomly. I’m going to share a little story.It was about 2 A.M. in the morning, an i was awaken by my husband turning off the light as i slept.I decide to get up an see what he was up to so i walked to the bedroom door. Wham as soon as i opened the door he jumps out of skin like a son who has just been caught by his mother in the middle of a “suppose to be quick masturbation session”. His response was i thought you were sleep with a smile.My initial response was silence. However in my head it was anger,a tiny slash to my self esteem, and laughter. I immediately thought about what an old friend of mines told me “ everyone guy masturbates or looks at porn.”I just knew that wasn’t the case for me. Silly me right,however something else happen in this moment. I thought about what the porn star was doing her actions,while she was in the moment so to speak.I thought i don’t want to be a damn porn star.I don’t want to have crazy wild sex that will leave me dried out like an old river bed during a drought!I remembered this isn’t real. They are acting (it was a good quality).I cant compare myself to that. Most importantly i realized an insecurity that i never knew i had. I suddenly thought am i not good enough for my husband?That isn’t a good thought process to have.I cannot operate on fear or doubts.So all in all the lesson of the day is you never know what people will do when they think your not looking.Never compare yourself to something that isn’t real an make humor of an awkward situation.It makes things easier to deal with.