This may help you to become/find out who you want to be

(Image: rawpixel.com / freepik)

So we all somehow understand how we are the construct of the environment we are in. However that never quite helps us out of the loop we are in now.

Why is that? May be this is why: the definition of environment, and how the relations between our environment and us, are not clear.

What is “environment”?

Here are some popular sayings. The 5 people we spend most time with shape who we are. Others said it is about where you spend the most time in. Some said it’s about the how. In fact, they are all true.

According to Oxford Dictionary, the word environment means “the surroundings or conditions in which a person, animal, or plant lives or operates”. So when we consider how the study of the environment around us can help us to become/find out who we want to be, we must consider EVERYTHING around and inside us.

Everything happens externally or internally are our environments. (Image: absurd.design)

The people we spend time with is part of our environment, so does the interior design of our office/home, the soap opera or movies we watch everyday, the books we read, the food we eat, the quotes we put next to our bed, as well as the activities we take part in, the words we say, the stories we share, the ideas we have in mind, and the thoughts that run in our head. They are all our “environment”. It doesn’t matter it is the “external world” or the “internal happenings”. We ourselves are also part of our own environment.

So here comes the question: how can this understanding be turned into a tool to help us becoming/finding out who we want to be?

By asking if we are consciously selecting what “features” to be included in our “environment”.

Turning “environment” into a self-actualization tool

Now spend a few minutes and write down everything that’s in your environment. Some questions you can consider asking yourself:

• Whom you spent most time with lately? What kind of person he/she is? What do you guys talk about usually?
• What about those “people” in TV/movies/sports app/youtube videos/books/radio/social communities/news…? (i.e. people you don’t actually know in reality, or they may even be some fictional characters)
• What do you like/dislike about them? Do you see yourself imitating their mindset/behavior/way of communications/facial expression/etc.?
• How does your home/office/garden/etc. look like? How do you like/dislike it?
• How do you spend your time everyday? You can list out all activities you spend time on, even you only do that for just a moment. Which one do you enjoy? Which one you don’t? Why?
• What are the things you tell people most frequently? How do you feel when you speak those words?
• What are the things or self-talk that fill your head? How do you feel when certain lines pop up?

What “features” does your environment have? Taking myself as an example: my business partner represents positivity, optimism and can-do attitude, my recent work project represents personal development, growth and sharing, meditation represents wisdom, inner peace, growth and self-love, and my home represents greens, nature, growth (and death), self-acceptance and self-responsibility. These “features” are exactly how I want my life to be about. Therefore I am very happy about my life lately. (A key thing to note: these may change across time.)

It is a handy tool for you to reach your “self”. (Image: absurd.design)

It can also be a self-discovery tool

You are unclear about who you want to become? That’s okay! Let’s turn the question around! Gather a list of environment (and their respective features) from your past and current life, your friends and family, or even fictional characters, then do the “this is what i like/dislike” test. For each environment, circle all the features you like, and cross out the features you dislike.

Which of these features you would like to have/keep in 3 years, 5 years, or 10 years? Which of these you would NOT want to have/keep? Treat these features like LEGO blocks. When you put these features together, who is the person you are trying to shape here?

Then let’s come back to reality. Look at the environment you are in now. You might have chosen certain environment/features long time ago, or life might have put forward those environment/features in your life, and they may or may not serve you anymore.

Go further than think out of the box: think without one! (Image: absurd.design)

Think without the box

This tool is in fact a two-way “system”. In the beginning we discussed about the definition of environment and see how it can be anything happen externally and internally. So the final step: how do I turn that into an action plan?

Look at all the features you would like to keep/drop in the future. For those you want to keep, think about what “environment” can actually offer those “features”. If you cannot get them in reality at the moment, what about a book? What about TV show? What about TED talks? Youtube videos? Meeting people like that? Or even, simply talk about that EVERYDAY?

By thinking without the box about “environment” and “features”, the loop we are in may not be as difficult to get out of as we think. You can always use one “environment” to “replace” the impact from some past “environment”. You can always change, and start anew.

We are the ones who limit ourselves. If you are a LEGO avatar, which LEGO blocks you want to choose to build your “self”?

You are not alone. With love.