The Anxiety of Pursuing Dreams – Day 1
Today is the first day that I’ve had a few hours to unwind. The first day in weeks — months maybe — where I haven’t had to say goodbye to someone I love, talk about our plans for the future, or attempt to cram clothes into a box that’s just too damn small. I’m here. I made it to day 1.
More than a year ago, when Jade and I first started dating, we began to dream up an adventure. We’d travel the world with our backpacks and nothing else. We’d shed the intensity of city life, materialism, careers and pretty much every anxiety of being in your 20s in exchange for a simpler, more meaningful life. What that looked like, we didn’t know at the time (and, spoiler: we still don’t know). So we started quietly putting money away with every paycheck, unsure of where the relationship would be in a year, but excited for this dream.
Now, we’re here. Day 1. We’re in London, where both my best friend and mother now live. Next week, we’ll be in Morocco — Jade’s home; in two more, we’ll begin the trek across Asia. A first for both of us individually, and certainly, a first for us together.
Of course, there is a certain amount of anxiety permeating our travels, but then again, there is a certain amount of anxiety permeating most 20-somethings. But here, it feels different. It’s freeing, rather than limiting. It’s enticing, rather than something to ignore. This feeling is what drove us to quit our jobs, pack our bags, and live without a home for the next six months. It’s admiration for the unknown, a longing for what’s outside of our bubble.
Most conversations about this trip dance around the same question — “What are you going to do?” — and to be honest, I have no idea. But I know that I will be doing something and that there will be a whole lot to learn. I’m eager to figure out what it is that I want to learn and what makes me excited for the future.
A few days before our flight out, Jade asked me if I was happy. “I’m happy, are you?” I responded. “What about this makes you happy?” He asked, and before my head could think of what to say, my heart responded: “Pursuing dreams. My dreams, your dreams, our dreams.”