Mirror Mirror on the Wall: A Lesson In Getting Off to Yourself

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self-portrait (circa 2017)

I remember the first time I climaxed while gazing upon my own reflection. The moans, the body-shaking ecstasy. It’s a great power in having dominion over your own pleasure. Something women have in a sense been castrated from experiencing in what is our current patriarchal society. Even when we say masturbation, we are programmed to think of it in terms of our male counterparts. But the health benefits outweigh all the shame that’s been thrown around for partaking in something so innate. Take a moment to release your own inhibitions as we explore self-pleasure.

First, let’s put down our dogmas and get to our biology. Whether he/she/they, masturbation is a natural and completely healthy activity humans — and some animals — have been practicing for eons. Much like sex, it helps alleviate stress and also moonlights as a sleep aid. Masturbation is also helpful in releasing sexual tension and muscle tension particularly around your pelvic and anal regions. And ladies, it even helps alleviate menstrual cramps. Aside from the health benefits, self-pleasure is an opportunity to discover your own preferences. Do you know wha makes you feel good? How can we expect someone to do for us what we can’t do for ourselves?

Instead of feeling shameful about masturbation, consider making it an experience. You might consider mood music or candles to create the perfect ambiance. You can go all out and even make it a romantic occasion, indulging in chocolates, red wine, or treating yourself to a bubble bath. Indulge your fantasies. You can make it as simple or as extravagant as you like. Once you have created this space void of potential interruption, get comfortable and enjoy discovering what turns you on. You don’t have to perform vaginal stimulation to masturbate. Explore your erogenous zones, bring in a toy or 2. This is your time to have fun not to be bashful. And when you are feeling really powerful or explorative, try masturbating in front of a mirror.

Placing a mirror in front of yourself to watch as you touch your most intimate parts can be quite erotic but also therapeutic. Masturbation itself is a powerful form of intimacy to partake in with yourself that has been proven to boost self-esteem. With a mirror, the experience becomes even more heightened as all distractions are removed and you and your pleasure take center stage. Take the opportunity to gaze upon yourself in all your glory. Be open to exploring what is there for you. Maybe you’ll cry. Maybe you’ll have the most mind-blowing orgasm you’ve experienced in your entire life. Be open to experiencing yourself in all your raw beauty, and remember to leave all self-judgment and shame at the door. This is your safe space.

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Self-pleasure is a form of self-care that you have a right to practice or not. It’s an opportunity to get to know yourself deeper, to release tension in your mind and/or body, and it’s an opportunity to just feel good. Masturbation allows us to experience a level of self-awareness that gives us autonomy over our desires in and outside the bedroom. Enjoy being free and even kinky in your exploration of self. This is your time. Enjoy.

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