Can Long Distance Relationships Work?

You’ve surely heard about long distance relationships but now you are in one or considering entering one and you’re wondering if it will work.

You probably hear the naysayers prattle on about how it’s impossible and that it’s a waste of time but they are wrong. Yes, long distance relationships have their share of struggles but which relationship doesn’t? Think of it as a different type of struggle because, after all, it is a different type of relationship. Now, let’s look into how you can make your long distance relationship work.

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Trust and Communication

Trust

One of the most important things needed to guarantee the success of a long distance relationship is trust. You are going to be far away from your partner for an extended period of time so you need to be able to trust each other.

The first thing to pop into your head when you hear ‘trust’ is probably cheating, right? Well that is a major factor but trust also comes in other forms. For instance, trusting your partner when they say they’re busy with work and not thinking they’re avoiding you. You’re not close enough to check up on them and you’ll drive yourself insane wondering if there is no trust.

Communication

Going hand in hand with trust is communication. Effective communication.

With long distance relationships the only thing you really have to do together is communicate so your communication needs to be on point. Be open and honest with each other.

Be sure you and your partner make communicating with each other an important event in your days. Share the little things, share the big things, share it all. And don’t forget, an important part of communication is listening.

If you feel ignored, let them know. When the distance gets hard to cope with, share it with them. Remember, this is hard for them too and the struggle is something you can bond over. You are going through this together, don’t forget that. So weather this storm together.

There are always the popular messaging apps and social media apps but time together on calls and messaging is sacred in long distance relationships. So why not have a dedicated platform for just you and your partner? There are several apps for couples which provide private messaging, calls and other cool features. So, until you can share a home, you can share a virtual private space. Cool right? It’s surely not the same as in person but technology helps bridge the gap.

Set Time Aside and Create Time for Each Other

Life has a habit of getting busy and when you’re not coming home to your partner at the end of a long day it can sometimes get difficult to stay in touch. A great way to combat this is to have dedicated check in times with each other. This is not to say that you can’t send each other short messages throughout the day to show that you’re thinking about each other. But let’s be honest, a day can get very busy and the time just slips away.

Good morning and good night messages or calls are one way to ensure you touch base with your partner. But it’s not enough. You guys can also agree on a time of day that you reserve to catch up, and set aside some time on the weekend (or whichever day you are both free) to have a virtual date or simply do something together. You’re probably thinking, how can we do anything together when we’re so far apart? Don’t worry, we’ll explore some options in a moment.

Another good way to get in some together time is to call or video call your partner on your drive to and from work (be sure to use handsfree, safety first!), when you’re cooking or even grocery shopping.

What about when there is a time difference?

Time difference, especially big ones, can be a tough hurdle to conquer but it is possible! In order to get that quality time together one or both of you will have to make a compromise — some sleep will be sacrificed. But staying up a couple of hours later or waking up a couple of hours earlier is worth that one on one time with your partner!

Do Things Together

As promised, let’s discuss some activities you and your partner can do together thanks to the wonders of technology.

Video call while doing mundane tasks together

For the times when you both have things to do at home such as cooking, cleaning, studying, video call your partner and spend time that way. You can also make things like cooking an event to do together. Maybe even make the same recipe.

Play games

There are numerous games you can play with your partner from online multiplayer games where you can interact or even play against each other to online versions of some traditional games like twenty questions and truth or dare.

Read together

A great way to bond is over reading and discussing books. A good idea is to go in together on a Kindle Unlimited account. So many positives with that: access to unlimited books of every genre and you’ll be sharing the virtual library with your partner! You get to see what you’re both reading and add reading suggestions for each other.

Dinner and a movie

Spend the evening on video call cooking and eating together then settle in for a shared movie experience. The good thing with staying on video call is you can see your partner’s reaction to the movie and if one of you needs to get more snacks or have a bathroom break you can pause and restart at the same time. It’s a really great alternative to the real thing. There are also several different tools you can use to watch shows and movies together.

Go on a virtual date

There are actually a few options when tackling a virtual date:

You can go the route of dinner and a movie but, make it fancy. Get all dressed up and cook something special or order in.

Another option is to surprise your partner with a dinner date. Order and pay online for takeout and flowers or a nice gift and have it delivered to them.

You can also take your partner on a virtual tour. There are a lot of options now for virtual tours.

You can also have an intimate night with your partner. More on this lower down.

Plan for the Future

It’s important to talk about your future together otherwise it might feel like you’re going nowhere. Also, having your eye on future visits can help you handle the time apart. It gives you something to look forward to.

Discuss who will visit whom next — if it’s possible, you should switch up who does the travelling so that it doesn’t become too much of a strain on one person. Also, won’t it be nice to share your living space with your partner and to share theirs as well?

Plan activities you can do together on your next visit. Even if it’s just to lay in bed and cuddle. That’s very important too!

In addition to planning future visits, a good thing to do is to set and work on goals together. This will not only help you to feel more connected but you can grow together and build each other up. It could be a work related achievement, eating healthier, exercising, losing or gaining weight, learning a new skill or hobby or, you can even start an online business together. The possibilities are endless!

Intimacy

Let’s not forget this important part of your relationship. Being far away from your partner surely can make getting intimate with them tricky but fear not, it is very possible. And there are more options now than ever before.

There is the obvious in terms of sexting and video calls which can always be useful but there are other options you and your partner can explore. You can play naughty versions of truth or dare and twenty questions, put on a striptease for each other, and there are adult toys specifically for long distance couples. Meaning, you control each other’s devices. Cool right?

Take away:

Long distance relationships can definitely work. They require some sacrifice, a lot of trust, effective communication and finding ways to keep things interesting and enjoyable with shared activities, date nights, and intimacy. But in the end, there will be nothing sweeter than those long awaited visits not to mention, finally closing the gap!