The (depressing) Reasons Why I Read
When I was a kid we didn’t have much. One thing we did have was a VCR and about 100 movies we would play over and over again. Aside from Disneys (en francais, of course) we had Dead Poets Society. My captain said the following to his students‘So avoid using the word ‘very’ because it’s lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don’t use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys — to woo women — and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do. It also won’t do in your essays.’ Little did I know 20 years later I would write a thesis explaining the significant difference between the word bending vs breaking. Don’t get me started.
It may be dark and twisty in a Grey fashion but I mainly read out of bloody jealousy. It’s like watching a magician but only he is not tricking you with his speed, instead, he gives you all the time you want to get you to admire and simultaneously get frustrated with his jaw dropping fkn brilliance. You breathe the same air, you eat the same food, you shit the same way. HOW do you do it. How do you use these words?Or better. How do you even know these words? How are you describing something so complicated with such ease? The only way to understand how magic is created is to see the show over and over again. Until you get it- until you dare trying it- until you decide to apply to fkn Hogwarts.A fellow blogger once wrote : you need to learn the grammar of magic before you can cast your own spells. That’s also bloody brilliant.*
A few nights ago, I was invited along with another friend for dinner. After a few drinks and other substances I’m not sure I’m legally allowed to say in Canada (yet) our host said ‘I think we found our Elaine’. This was supposed to be a cute moment. Instead, it turned out to be a 20 minute session of them forcing me to watch the Best Moments of Elaine on Youtube to understand what our friendship was because I didn’t know who she was. Not — so — cute. So I can’t connect with people with TV, and in our Netflix and chill era, you dont know how much you have to bring to the table if you can’t talk about Senfield. But I know stuff, a pretty random repertoire of stuff but it’s still stuff. I guess reading comes as a compensatory device for my lack of knowledge in what people are actually interested in.
I read to train my brain. I live in a world that always demands more of me in less time. My attention span is lower than it used to be and I’m consistently notified of something. Reading reminds me that some things take longer than expected and committing nonetheless is simply worth it.**
All things considered, my reasons for reading are morosely depressing but yet concomitant to pure happiness. What can I say — I am a mess of contradictions.
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- Fevered mutterings
- With the exception of Bittersweet. I absolutely hated this book but by the time I realized how much I hated it I was in too deep and I couldn’t bring myself to stop. Incest! Nazis! Theft! Same-sex attraction! None of it done well. I wanted to jump up and do a happy dance when it finally ended but at the same time I want all the hours of my life back that I invested in reading this book.Sorry Miranda.
