Making a Date

Ask for a date directly. Don’t ask vague or indirect questions. Playing games invites the person to lie or play games.

Don’t accept a vague or indirect answer. E.g., you’re looking forward to an event. You ask a person out. The person says “maybe,” meaning “no.” You hear “maybe,” meaning yes. Two weeks later, you figure out that “maybe” meant “no.” But now it’s too late to ask anyone else out. If a person says “maybe,” or doesn’t return your call or e-mail, assume that the person means “no.” Ask someone else out.

If the person says “no,” thank him or her for the clear answer.

Telephone NumbersAsk for a telephone number or e-mail address.A man should offer his card, but shouldn’t expect a woman to call. A man should never give a work or voicemail number. This suggests that he’s married and trying to trick her.A woman concerned about her privacy or safety should rent a voicemail box, or give out her e-mail address. Business CardsA man’s business card should communicate status. He should ask his supervisor to give him a more impressive job title. Or add a title given by a professional association. Or hire a graphic designer to create a beautiful card.A man should write his home telephone number on his business card when giving it to a woman. He should add his home address so she can drive by and see what his house looks like. E-mail Addresses and Personal Websites Use an e-mail address that identifies your gender and age, e.g., “Ernie1959.” Build a personal website with information about yourself, your photo, etc. Put the URL in your e-mail signature. Your e-mail recipients can then read more about you. Excuses to Ask Personal Info Take advantage of excuses to ask people about themselves. E.g., in a business class it’s appropriate to “network” with classmates: “And where does your husband work? Oh, you’re not married?” How to CallIf a woman gives a man her telephone number, he should call her the next day.He shouldn’t wait two days. If he hesitates, she’ll feel hurt and rejected.If you get her answering machine, read a romantic poem (e.g., a Shakespeare sonnet). Women love romantic poetry.

Dress for Sex

Dress to communicate your gender. Masculine clothes have heavier fabrics. Colors are darker. Masculine clothes emphasize broad shoulders (e.g., epaulets), flat stomach (e.g., men’s shirts tuck into their pants), slim waist and hips, and muscled legs.

Boring, conservative clothes are masculine. Creative, attention-grabbing clothes are feminine. To attract women, wear normal clothes. Grey with a designer label is good. Don’t wear leather pants. Women assume that men who dress creatively are gay or mentally ill.

A beard hides your face. Religious patriarchs and department store Santa Clauses are playing a role and want you to see the mask, not the individual behind the mask. In contrast, businessmen and politicians don’t wear beards because hiding their faces makes them appear less trustworthy.

A full mustache communicates masculinity, dominance, and power. Its popularity varies between times and cultures-if you’re not Hispanic, gay, or living in the 1970s, consider shaving.

Women’s Clothes

Women’s clothes draw attention to their breasts, waist, and hips. Depending on whether adolescence or maturity is in fashion, women’s clothes either emphasize a flat stomach and thin legs, or make strong, sweeping curves to suggest fertility. Feminine clothes have lighter fabrics and brighter colors.

Play peek-a-boo to get men’s attention. Intentionally tear your jeans or sweaters, show a little cleavage, or wear a slit skirt. Sexy materials-leather, latex, spandex-play peek-a-boo by suggesting skin without showing skin.

Wear an accelerator and a brake. A pink t-shirt displaying “Playmate of the Year” in glittering letters is like a car with an accelerator but no brake. Men won’t hear “no.” Instead, wear a conservative skirt with sexy boots, or vice versa.

Women shouldn’t wear “trend of the minute” clothes. You’ll impress the people who read women’s fashion magazines-other women. Instead, wear “timeless” styles. Natural colors, patterns, and fabrics are timeless. Things not found in nature aren’t.