When I was in college, I took an online quiz on my religious beliefs. It took longer to complete than I had anticipated because I had to reflect deeply on the questions. The goal of the quiz is not to regurgitate your religious upbringing but to illuminate which religions most closely match your true worldview and value system. Some of the questions were about things I had never even considered, so I had to reflect on what they meant to me.
I was surprised by the results when I saw my top 3 suggested religions were: Unitarian, Quaker, and Pagan. Since then I have explored paths in Paganism and Unitarian Universalism, but Quaker was left untouched. Even after my friend who attended a Quaker college told me about unprogrammed services which intrigued me. Even after I moved to a city that had a Meeting House that I drove by every day. Even after I started dating a man that lives three blocks down the street from the meeting house. I always intended to go, but like some many other things — I just didn't.
Now my partner works on Sundays, so I didn’t see why I should put it off any longer. After checking the calendar of events on the website and their social media pages, I put it in my planner.
I was relieved to see other young adults entering the house when I arrived. When visiting a new house of worship, I have been overwhelmed by the amount of attention I receive from elders, so it was nice to be assured that others would share the load.
After signing the guest book, I followed voices through the house to a kitchen in the back. I offered the Pyrex dish of rosewater almond cookies I had brought for the potluck to one of the congregational leaders. She informed me that the potluck had been cancelled due to the air conditioner being on its last leg. Great, now I looked like I was trying too hard to impress them. Oh well! I set them out by the coffee pot and poured myself a glass of lemon mint water.
There was a middle room with pamphlets about Quakerism, a newsletter, bookshelves, and the young couple. One of them complimented my cookies, and we made some small talk about baking and cooking. I worried a bit about if we should be talking or sitting or what we were supposed to do next. I had watched some videos to prepare for my visit, but since this meeting house was a literal rock house, it was hard to tell which rooms were reserved for quiet and which were for fellowship. This uncertainty was cleared up when they told me it was their first meeting to attend, and I answered, “Same.” A gentleman that was sitting in the next room calmly asked us to join their circle.
This “sanctuary" had off-white walls and ceiling with sky blue trim. Plenty of natural light filtered through mismatched curtains. The padded folding chairs formed a semi-circle around a beautiful Turkish rug full of pinks, blues, and browns on a cream background with matching fringe. An Owl sat on a white cloth with blue borders spread on a small table, and a TV monitor showing digital Friends connected through Zoom closed the circle.
Nine of us sat in silent reverence. I took off my glasses and alternated between staring at the rug and closing my eyes as I allowed myself to drift into a trance-like state. I was probably supposed to be praying, but since I was there to experience something new and different, I tried to just open myself up to see what I would receive.
I often experience the Creator as different shapes and colors. Sometimes I have full-on visions, but usually I just see pretty simple and abstract things. I kept seeing light, bright blue and green alternating. For awhile I saw a turquoise tiled pool filling with pink liquid. And then I started to think about Star Wars.
Before I went to the meeting, while I was getting ready, I was watching Episode IV: A New Hope. The last scene I watched before I paused the movie to leave had one of my favorite lines of the whole series, delivered by Darth Vader: “I find your lack of faith disturbing.”
As a cheerful choir of song birds assured us that all was well, I pondered what we get from faith. How was sitting in silence in a room full of strangers benefitting me more than meditating on the porch by myself? What do we seek and find by pursuing a faith practice that we don’t obtain simply through embracing mindfulness?
- Sense of community. We are not seeking alone. We can share burdens and hold each other in the light on our journey.
- Sense of wonderment. I often don’t realize how profound of a spiritual experience I am having until other’s share their testimony. Our openness and vulnerability with each other creates a portal for divine messages to come through. I might receive a puzzling message that makes more sense when someone else shares their revelation and vice versa.
- Sense of direction. As much as I hate dogma, having a few guiding principles goes a long way in helping chart and course progress, especially when it comes to things like collective action and social justice.
- Sense of purpose. Working with others can help you find out what you’re actually good at. Knowing where your energy is most efficient can help you conserve focus. Whether you are good at public speaking, fund raising, or washing dishes, there’s something valuable you can contribute to a religious community.
After about a half hour, the eldest spoke on the important role of Others in worship. One of my fellow newcomers mentioned the importance of elders and what they had learned from theirs — the belief of everyone experiencing the world into existence. Another man told us about watching a video about nonviolent methods of communication and women that were crowdfunding to provide a course about it.
I kept getting a tickle in my throat. The last man that spoke looked at me expectantly. My heart was climbing up my throat as I continued to cough.
I know when my chakra needs movement, and it’s usually my throat chakra that gives me the most trouble for ignoring it.
So I spoke. I shared my message with these strangers. This is how we make friends.
After service we introduced ourselves. The regular members were happy to have first time visitors share vocal testimony, and commentary was made on how all the testimonies had a theme. A member on Zoom showed us the sweater she had been knitting — gray with bright green and sky blue accents! I quietly ate cookies and marveled at the synchronicity of it all. We closed the service by holding hands in silence for a moment.
Community. Awe. Direction. Purpose. These are the qualities I feel Anakin Skywalker knew the Republic needed. He was willing to sacrifice himself to pursue them. In the end, he wasn’t wrong, but we can learn a valuable lesson from his downfall. Having healthy relationships with others we can freely discuss our spirituality with helps keep us in check. So does having a spiritual community that mirrors your political beliefs and worldview. It is tempting to become nihilistic during these times, especially if we feel isolated. When we feel like we are the only person who cares about what is going on in the world, we start to feel defeated. There is value in finding your people. Your community gains value when you participate.
