So in other words, the term “sex” is neither simple nor straightforward: It refers to a collection of sexually dimorphic traits that are variable both across traits and within each trait. And this is not merely a “trans perspective” on the matter; here is an article from Nature (one of the most respected science journals) arguing that, “The idea of two sexes is simplistic. Biologists now think there is a wider spectrum than that.”
Still, it wasn’t until recently that I truly realized how much of a mistake it was to think that I could make others see the situation the same way I did. They didn’t have the knowledge I had. They didn’t see my struggle over the years. They didn’t see the near constant, low-level dissociation with which I had approached my life. They didn’t see me. In a real sense, you could say that they made friends with a fiction—a fiction they had a part in creating, but a fiction all the same.
Regardless of the context, the narrative that trans women are “uber-gay men” has hurt the community by misleading trans women who are still in the closet as to what “real trans women” are like. In doing so, it has caused a significant number of trans women to delay seeking treatment, and has only served to reinforce other transphobic and cissexist notions of trans women by tapping into society’s rampant homophobia and misconceptions regarding cisgender gay men that flow from that homophobia.