- Rob Lowe Roast Ralph Macchio Full
- Rob Lowe Roast Ralph Macchio Net Worth
- Rob Lowe Roast Ralph Macchio Costume
- Rob Lowe Roast Ralph Macchio Movie
- Comedy Central Roast Of Rob Lowe Ralph Macchio
- Rob Lowe Roast Ralph Macchio
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Last night Comedy Central aired its roast of actor Rob Lowe and the dais included some unlikely personalities: conservative political commentator Ann Coulter, former Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning, and singer-songwriter Jewel. Comedians David Spade, Pete Davidson, Jimmy Carr, Nikki Glaser, Rob Riggle, and Jeff Ross (dressed as Prince) performed too, along with Lowe’s The Outsiders co-star Ralph Macchio. Apparently Jewel appeared opposite the guest of honor in a short-lived NBC legal drama called The Lyon’s Den in 2003. Unlike Coulter, Jewel got jokes!
Rob Lowe Roast Ralph Macchio Full
“People may be wondering what my connection is to Rob,” she said. “Well, years ago I was cast in a show called Lyon’s Den. I’m sure none of you saw it, because it starred Rob Lowe. The first script said that Rob and I had to kiss, but I asked if they could rewrite it, because I knew where that mouth had been. But they said no, and I had to do it, so I was fired from the show for not being excited about sucking his face…”
She closed by singing about being the underage girl in the Brat Packer’s infamous sex tape, to the tune of her “You Were Meant For Me.”
Jimmy Carr — Rob Lowe’s Costars 0:37. Jimmy Carr reveals how Ralph Macchio, Rob Lowe’s costar from ‘The Outsiders,’ ended up on the dais. LOS ANGELES, Sept. 6 (UPI) — Actor and former teen idol Rob Lowe was the latest celebrity to be skewered in a Comedy Central roast. The previously taped, 2-hour program debuted on the cable network Monday night.
“Rob you are such a whore. / You completely forgot we hooked up before. / You showed me your penis / when I was just sixteen-ish. Back in 1988. / I was the girl on your sex tape. Maybe you missed my name / because you were high on so much cocaine. Out of all your films / I’m the best thing you were ever in.”
Rob Lowe Roast Ralph Macchio Net Worth
Ralph George Macchio Jr. (/ ˈ m ɑː tʃ i oʊ /, Italian:; born November 4, 1961) is an American actor.He played Daniel LaRusso in three Karate Kid films and Cobra Kai, a sequel television series.
About Roast of Rob Lowe The Comedy Central Roast of Rob Lowe assembles a dais that includes Peyton Manning, Ralph Macchio, Jeff Ross, Nikki Glaser, Rob Riggle, Jewel, Ann Coulter and Roast Master David Spade. 25 Best Burns From the Comedy Central Roast of Rob Lowe Ann Coulter, Pete Davidson, Nikki Glaser, Jewel, Ralph Macchio, Peyton Manning, Rob Riggle and Jeff Ross bring the jokes By Zach Johnson Sep.
She also delivered these one-liners:
- Jewel on David Spade: “You all know his assistant tried to kill him. I guess the stress of answering the phone twice a month finally got to him.”
- Jewel on Ralph Macchio: “Who doesn’t love Ralph Macchio? Bill collectors. And actual karate masters. And real actors. Italians. You know: people.”
- Jewel on Rob Riggle: “You look like every dad who can’t handle having a gay son.”
- Jewel on Peyton Manning: “Peyton Manning is here because Eli is still out there making his dad proud.”
The other roasters got in some Jewel burns.
- “The only thing shorter than David Spade is Jewel’s greatest hits album.” — Rob Riggle
- “Jewel is here. Or as I call her: Trailer Swift.” — NIkki Glaser
- “Jewel has performed for the Pope. In fact, it’s the reason the Pope insists on being in a sound-proof glass box.” — Rob Lowe
Here’s Nikki Glaser clowning on Jewel’s teeth:
After the taping the singer told USA Today, “I do a lot of skits and really strange characters [at my shows], so it was fun to have the opportunity tonight to kind of show a little bit of it.”
I might have to go to a Jewel show now?
.@jewel got cozy with Rob Lowe before crushing him. #LoweRoastpic.twitter.com/2Qfd6h0Rvt
— Comedy Central (@ComedyCentral) September 6, 2016
UPDATE: Here’s the whole Jewel segment via Vulture…
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LOS ANGELES, Sept. 6 (UPI) — Actor and former teen idol Rob Lowe was the latest celebrity to be skewered in a Comedy Central roast.
The previously taped, 2-hour program debuted on the cable network Monday night.
“We’re here to honor one of the biggest stars — of 1987 — with some of the biggest stars of 1984,” roast master David Spade said of 52-year-old Lowe, his co-star in the film Tommy Boy.
“For years, Rob Lowe had a sex addiction, but he cured it by becoming less famous,” Spade went on.
“Rob came up when a sex tape could really ruin your career, but Rob had to do it the hard way — with his acting,” the comedian added, referring to a nearly 30-year-old scandal involving a sex tape of Lowe and a 16-year-old girl he met in a nightclub.
Most of the NSFW jokes aimed at Lowe throughout the evening focused on his good looks, acting ability, rumored number of sexual partners and many, short-lived TV series. But those there to roast Lowe quickly turned on each other, as well.
“Last year, we did Bieber and now it’s Rob Lowe. Who’s next? Flo the Progressive lady?” Pete Davidson said.
“David, thanks for taking time out from waiting for Sandler to write Grown Ups 3 to be here,” he said, zinging Spade next.
Davidson then said their fellow roaster — retired NFL star Peyton Manning — looked like football players have “evolved to no longer need helmets,” and told Manning he loved him as the towering monster Sloth in Goonies, a 1980s movie in which he did not actually appear.
“Ann, if you’re here, who’s scaring the crows away from our crops?” Davidson asked roaster and conservative author/television personality Ann Coulter. “Last year, we had Martha Stewart who sells sheets and now we have Ann Coulter who cuts eyeholes in them.”
Rob Lowe Roast Ralph Macchio Costume
“Jewel, I won’t make fun of you yet because I want to give everyone at home time to Google who you are,” he continued.
Holding up an audio cassette tape, Davidson said his mom begged him to get the singer to autograph it.
“I don’t know what the [expletive] it is. If it’s a phone, it’s broken,” he quipped.
Rob Lowe Roast Ralph Macchio Movie
Jimmy Carr, whom Davidson said looks “like a butler in a haunted mansion,” saved his venom for Spade and Coulter.
“David is perhaps best known for his work with comedy legend Chris Farley. Tragically, Chris Farley died when his heart stopped, due to a lethal combination of heroin, cocaine and the stress of carrying David Spade through two movies,” Carr said.
“Ann Coulter is one of the most repugnant, hateful, hatchet-faced [expletives] alive. But it’s not too late to change, Ann, you could kill yourself,” Carr said, before emphasizing his friends back home in Great Britain will be excited to hear he roasted “Charlie Sheen’s brother’s friend.”
Rob Riggle, meanwhile, had fun teasing Davidson, actor Ralph Macchio and comedian Jeff Ross.
“Jeff’s a regular at the Friar’s Club. That really shouldn’t be a surprise to anybody; they serve food. Fat, ugly, no where else to go! Pete Davidson’s ugly. He’s actually going on his third year at SNL… Is it the fourth year they finally let you see an orthodontist? Jacked-up teeth. Fix that [expletive!]”
“Hey, look, it’s Ralph Macchio. How cool is that, said no one ever. Karate Kid II was the worst sequel since World War II and Pat Morita had to suffer through both,” Riggle noted.
Comedy Central Roast Of Rob Lowe Ralph Macchio
Macchio, Lowe’s co-star in The Outsiders, joined in the fun and mocked himself.
Rob Lowe Roast Ralph Macchio
“I might not have your career,” Macchio told Lowe, “but if they were roasting me, the biggest star here would be a lot [expletive] bigger than me. If I had a roast and the biggest star I could get was me, I would do what Rob Riggle did and get the [expletive] out of show business. You did The West Wing with Martin Sheen. You were in Parks and Rec with Chris Pratt and the biggest movie star you could get to show up tonight was Ralph [expletive] Macchio? That is pathetic, dude. And that’s a direct quote from my kids.”
“I’d like to welcome everyone to the Ann Coulter roast with Rob Lowe,” Coulter said when it was her turn to speak. “I’m just so overwhelmed with the love in this room. I can’t thank you enough. It’s really something. No, actually, I’m not a comedian…
Rob Lowe Roast Ralph Macchio Jr
“I’m only here tonight because of all of the love and respect I have for Rob Lowe and all these fabulous and talented performers tonight. It has nothing to do with this being the next stop on my press junket for the book I just published four days ago — In Trump We Trust… Pause for boos. Oh, wait, I wasn’t supposed to read that. … I know it’s pretty shameless, but I’m on a stage with a guy who made two Joe Dirt films, so how shameless can I be?”
