Bubbles

Originally written May 16th, 2018

Leda Sofía
Sep 8, 2018 · 3 min read

Change.

As a verb it means: make or become different. As a noun it means: the act or instance of making or becoming different.

Neither of those definitions do the word justice because the idea of something “becoming different” isn’t fathomable or explainable until it happens to you… Heartbreak. A loss. A new city. A new environment. A transformed heart. The good and the bad. It all seems to be happening so quickly and sometimes without our permission; as if our bodies were being taken to this new place where we’re forced new eyes in us and everything we’re seeing is either something we don’t want to see or something that is uncomfortably unfamiliar to us. So then our minds have to readjust to the way we feel things now, almost as if we have to force ourselves to make ourselves at home in a place that is foreign to us. We wake up and start our day with confusion and fear because we realize our old habits and routines don’t align with this place anymore, they are impossible to combine. This bed makes our bodies sore. This scent tickles our nostrils. This sound makes us want to cover our ears. Our new disposition gives us anxiety. But it’s all because of the change…everything is being arranged anew for us and we seem to have no control over what goes where and what gets added and what not. It can be ugly and terrifying and overwhelming…especially if we see things trapped in one endless, painful path with no possibility of having it be part of one massive, cosmic event that’s controlled by something that actually cares for our hearts immensely.

How do we see outside the bubble, outside this prison of depravity and loss? Why is it that despite who this universe belongs to, we are so quick in being consumed by our wicked thoughts and nonsensical chaos? All we see is what’s happening right in front of us but we refuse to look up. We can’t look up. We don’t trust anything but ourselves enough to look up because looking elsewhere would mean letting go of what our eyes are fixed on. And we crave and need what we’re fixed on…we can’t live without it.

So maybe that’s why this happens. That’s why the painful change. It’s our Father’s way of taking us to higher places so we don’t have to put our hope in something temporary. And that’s the point. He is the only thing that isn’t temporary. He is the only thing that is constant and safe and eternal. It hurts so much because He’s clearing our hearts from what we’ve been fixed on for so long that we forgot what it was like to taste His water. Like an addiction. But He loves us too much to let us stay there…

Let me see outside this bubble of paralysis and affliction. Let me see outside the bounds of what’s happening. Let me find comfort in the unknown knowing there is certainty in the One who came to save us. Let me walk boldly with my eyes fixed on Him, though unseen, is ever present and boundlessly caring. Let my heart believe that I am safe and found and known by the Creator of this universe. Let my heart find satisfaction in belonging to Him. Let me trust a little more every day amidst the confusion and suffering. Let me be okay with where I am.

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