The Butterfly Effect
Originally written April 18, 2017
“There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.”
“One who practices sin is a slave to sin.”
I was struck this morning when a man peacefully offered me a Bible on my way to the SUB. I smiled, since it was a pocket Bible that I’ve wanted for so long to keep with me at all times. It also had “Proverbs” and “Psalms” written on the front, which are two of my favorite books. It’s amazing. He just handed it to me.
On my drive to school this morning, I was actually thinking to myself with frustration how fucking confused I am. I want to do things my way, but lately that’s been leaving me empty-handed. Yes, I’m more outgoing, maybe a little more wild, but so what? In the end, how am I growing? Where am I going? Who am I helping?
I’ve been at war with myself and with God for some time now. I can feel the emotional and spiritual drainage from avoiding and escaping God over and over again; I don’t know why I still do it. Right now, I’m addicted to living from the flesh, but I want nothing more than to fall in love with Jesus.
I’m just having so much fun.
