#HmoobWHM2019 Spotlights: Pa-Zong Bina Lee
Hey friends, welcome back! I thought a lot about the people I would feature and wondered who would fit this theme of “making history” or was worth a #womenshistorymonth nod. Should I stick to my personal circles? Should I feature only womxn I thought had “accomplished it all”? Or were people like my mom, grandma, aunties, and cousins, who had literally survived warfare, more deserving? Or what about Hmong womxn doing nontraditional things who’ve paved the way for so many like me? After some reflection, I felt like all were deserving: those who don’t fit the traditional mold, as well as those who consider themselves simple, “average” people, along with my girlfriends and sisters and aunts because being a Hmong womxn is already unique and worth mentioning in itself.
So today, my 21st #HmoobWHM2019 spotlight is dedicated to my baby sister, Bina, because I want her to know that she’s a leader in her own right, and she’s making history in her own ways. It’s not because she’s my sister or the youngest daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Chao Lee, but because of how much she has endured in spite of the pressures from being born into a high-achieving, low-to-middle-income family that afforded her (and all of my siblings) so many privileges. I’m so ashamed to admit that I didn’t even know what she went through because we were so busy trying to “make it,” and the age gap really never allowed for us to truly be there for her or my younger brother. So if you’re an older sibling who felt/feels like you’ve missed out on your younger siblings’ lives, check in on them. But also trust and know that they’ve probably grown up a lot, probably just as much as you.
Women make history in their own ways every day. Please share with us a personal story about you that you think reflects who you are, and/or your values.
My parents have always held me to a higher standard and made sure I excelled in my academics and my extracurriculars. AP classes, dance, gymnastics, Student Council, National Honors Society, and numerous other clubs filled my early days of high school. My days and nights, including my brain, were occupied. My life was fulfilled until the December of my sophomore year in high school. I contracted a bacterial skin infection called Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA) during a dance competition in California that started a four month long battle.
I had no clue what it was at first. I thought it may have been a bed bug bite from the hotel my dance team stayed at. My mother put off visiting the doctor and instead tried to treat me herself — since that’s what most Hmong mothers do. We knew it wasn’t an insect bite at that point because my mother’s treatments weren’t improving anything so we finally went to the hospital and found out it was a MRSA infection. Apparently, if left untreated, the infection can spread to the organs and be life threatening. So after this diagnosis, I had to bathe in bleached water every single day. Just when it seemed like I was getting better, the infection had spread lower to my thigh. I wasn’t strong enough to last through a day so I began missing school. I was restricted from gymnastics and dance. I couldn’t sit or walk properly. Then I finally got surgery in February of 2015.
The surgery was painful yet relieving, but recovery was the worst part. The struggle to walk, sit, and sleep worsened. I always had a lot on my plate, but I loved the thought of always being busy. However, due to the turmoil and my many missed school days, I wasn’t able to dance or do gymnastics, I couldn’t do what I loved most. I know it doesn’t sound as bad but I also dropped to the B Honor Roll for the first time ever. I became terribly depressed. I pondered my failure; I failed my teachers, my coach, my parents, but most importantly, myself. I had endless nights filled with tears and fears. Bathing in bleach had me feeling so disgusted and frustrated with myself, I cried so much during that time. I felt like I had fallen off the top. Then one day my friends came by my house after school to surprise me with my favorite snacks and drinks, hot cheetos and iced tea, and they cooked me chicken alfredo (my favorite food). This lifted me up so much, I don’t think they can understand how much this meant to me. Even though we have drifted since then, I’m still so grateful for what they did for me that day.
Slowly but surely, I rose back up. I worked hard enough to return and compete in the last few meets of my gymnastic season. I pushed through late nights of homework and studying with the aroma of coffee. I returned to my extracurriculars and was thriving in life again. This was only possible because I pushed myself to do it. I made the decision to change my current situation. This wasn’t easy, but nothing that would change your life ever is.
After the surgery, doctors told me that I would still carry the bacteria for awhile meaning I was still able to get another staph if I got cuts or had anything happen to my skin. Since then, I’ve gotten many cuts but nothing has happened. I’m officially cured today.
All of this taught me that I’m a carrier of true strength. True strength is attained by understanding and accepting your weakness, and learning to come out stronger. I carry two scars from surgery which are a reminder of my fortitude. I’ve learned to never give up, no matter how hard life gets. But most importantly, I learned that I can’t be helped if I don’t put in the work. At the end of the day, you gotta dig yourself out of the dark hole. No one’s going to help you unless you want to be helped. Life is happening and it will throw the worst at you, but you have to fight it and surpass it. You’re all you have at the end of the day so fight for yourself and choose yourself.
What’s the most adventurous/courageous thing you’ve ever done?
Every day of my life is adventurous and courageous — even outrageous. I choose to be different, I choose to be courageous in all my decisions. I choose to be loud, expressive, quiet, “extra”, and confident. I choose to do what I love, I choose to talk how I talk and walk how I walk, even though it’ll stir up some sh*t in people’s hearts. I choose to swear and I choose to speak up. I choose to be everything people don’t want a Hmong woman to be — or a woman for that matter. So, I live every day adventurously, courageously, and outrageously.
I believe others should too.
What’s your hope for the future of Hmong women?
My hope for the future of Hmong women is the expansion of our minds, opportunities, and resources. Hmong women could do so much more if only they were given the resources and opportunities. I want us to be on the screens of TV, I want us to become famous music artists, I want us to become involved in STEM careers, I want more Kao Kalia Yang’s and more Mee Moua’s!
Although this is my hope, I also know for a fact that this will happen — in due time. Hmong women are simply amazing.
What do you wish people knew about you?
That I’m more than what they see.
Bina’s affiliations include:
Syracuse University (2nd Year student)
