What college has taught me during my first semester

A story of a girl who thought she knew what was coming

Going into it, college was going to be exciting. Things were going to change. I was going to be myself and meet people who were just like me and we were going to be best friends in this little town no one from my hometown knew about. This did not happen.

Since school has started, I’ve semi-accepted a new reality of college. In this new reality, things are far from perfect, and I look back wondering why I thought not-so-long ago that it was going to be some picture perfect scene. While some things turned out for the much, much better — like joining my sorority and being accepted by 91 new sisters — others did not. Like the return of my anxiety and depression, for example.

Now, I’m not going to turn this into a sob story. I have a counseling appointment this afternoon to start getting myself back on track. The ground is shaking at the moment, but I’m working on catching my balance again. I will say, however, that this is the side of being a freshman that no one talked about. So, let’s get real.

In reality, freshman year is terrifying. I’m almost surrounded by people who go out every weekend and do things I’ve never been interested in, let alone been exposed to first hand. I lived in a big town with high expectations for every high school student to be the best at everything. Going out and drinking every weekend didn’t really fit the picture. A little bit of social anxiety has come from this new normal.

It’s also scary to be in a different state than everyone I know and love. Sometimes it’s hard being so far away, and without a car, might I add.

And finally, living with someone else is hard. After having my own room for 19 years, it’s been difficult to adjust to living with anyone, let a lone someone who doesn’t share the same values and lifestyle choices as I do. Respect is a big thing, and by living with someone who differs from me in major ways that respect is not always reciprocated. That said, I’m moving in 32 days.

However, even though freshman year is terrifying, it’s also exciting from time to time. You know, the part they did tell you about? Taking classes that you actually want to take, getting to nap in the middle of the day because you’re not shoved in a building for eight hours a day, staying up late hanging out with someone almost every night because you don’t have a curfew and can walk back to your building whenever you choose to.

I’m learning to take things in stride, anxieties included, and live day by day. It’s hard. It’s harder than anyone ever said it would be, and while I was surprised when I came here, it wasn’t always pleasantly.

The moral of the story is the old “don’t count your eggs before they hatch” kind of idea. Life unfolds in crazy, terrifying and exciting ways, college being no excetption to the rule.