My heart in his hands…

I met him in my first year. I was a res girl and he was a res guy. We had these strange activities each day where a res’ sing to each other and then we have lunch together, before the lunch the guy has to pick the girl. The minute we starting singing to the guy res we locked eyes and I knew that he would pick me. So he did. I had a boyfriend at the time but when he asked for my number I found it impossible to say no. After he took my number I knew I wanted to be his. Two months down the line, I had broken up with my boyfriend and all I wanted was him.

To cut a long story short I was his but he wasn’t necessarily mine. We were on and off for five years and each year my feelings for him got stronger. He was everything I thought I wanted, everything I thought I needed. Even though we were on and off there was no doubt in my mind that I would end up with him. How could I be so wrong?

It’s only at the end of the 5th year that I realized that I wasn’t going to end up with him. There’s nothing more devastating than not being the right girl for your right guy. I still miss him and writing all this down still makes me cry but I’m ready to let it all go. I need to let it go.

He had my heart in his hands for 5 years and I’m left still trying to piece it back together.