Seek feedback to grow
How do you react when someone points out a flaw in your work? How do you feel when someone critiques your behaviour? What’s your response when someone shows you your attitude could be better?
A lot of people struggle with feedback as they see it as criticism. Even the kind that genuinely comes from a good place and with the intention to help the person succeed. The knee-jerk reaction is to go on the defensive, putting up the barriers or justifying themselves. It’s basic self-protection and pretty understandable.
Society in general doesn’t appreciate failure or mistakes and having someone tell them they’ve strayed into that territory can be a massive blow to the ego. Their self-image is now at stake. Focus shifts to protecting the image that’s been built so far.
As an entrepreneur, as a professional, you can’t afford to let your ego dictate your life and behaviour like this anymore. Your focus needs to shift to a far more abundant and growth-oriented mindset. You need to focus on taking the criticism and building an even greater self.
The problem with self-protection
Self-protection is a natural mechanism but for someone looking to grow as an entrepreneur and as an individual, it’s a jail sentence. It will stop you from going anywhere new and keep you exactly where you are now. You’ll go nowhere. This is what’s dangerous about the ego.
If you’re so focused on protecting the image you have of yourself right now, it means you’re not focused on the things that will improve you and bring you greater knowledge, expertise and wisdom. And without those, your profit and growth probably won’t increase much further than the levels they’re at now. What’s more important to you? Avoiding a moment of humility or taking another step towards your dream?
Your desire to win
Your desire to win must be greater than your fear of losing. That means your desire to learn must be bigger than your fear of being seen to make mistakes. It takes a fundamental perspective shift in you, if you haven’t experienced it already.
Professional athletes, the champions, are all about the win. That’s where their mind is. It’s not on how they’ll handle the loss. Sure, they’ll have a procedure in place should they lose but that will just be another step towards victory next time. They know that obsessing over failure is a surefire way to bring it about.
The key is that their desire to win is more intense than doubt and it pushes them through any mistakes they might make. Mistakes are simply things that tell them they need to adjust their course in order to lift that trophy at the end. Their egos can handle that.
Criticism is TUT
Think of it this way; criticism can be painful but it’s the kind of pain that will force you to grow, if you approach it right. Criticism is a great example of time under tension. Those awkward minutes in a meeting where your face flushes and you cringe can be nasty.
But nasty is good. Use it as fuel to correct your mistakes, change your behaviour and right your wrong attitude. Make sure you never feel that pain again by becoming better, as fast as possible. Learn.
I say always seek TUT because it will force you to grow. However, I don’t mean go out and try and deliberately make mistakes. What I mean is that by pushing your limits when trying new things or working harder in certain areas, you will probably make mistakes naturally. When you do, see them and the criticism you receive as part of the process that will make you better.
Don’t treat criticism as a personal attack against you, as hard as that instinct may be. Instead, do this:
- Know your ego is automatically fighting your corner hard
- If your body language is starting to close off, force it to open up
- Don’t tune out and let the ego run the excuses
- Take a breath and listen to what’s really being said
- Look for all the ways criticism could make you better
- Take down all the action points and work them in ASAP
- Be happy you’ve been given the chance to take another step towards your dream
If world champions can still listen to their coaches’ suggestions for improvement, so can you. Whether it’s your boss, your partners, your staff, your suppliers or your customers, check your ego at the door and get hungry to listen. Learn how to take your game to the next level.
