Tomorrow I Become a Woman by Aiwanose Odafen.
All thanks to adulthood, I experienced reading slump back to back in the month of September. I finally finished “An Unusual Grief” by Yewande Omotoso after dragging it for almost 2 weeks. The upshot of that book was a feeling of absolute misery. It held a unique form of grief, one which was foreign yet irresistibly consuming. I had to read something fresh ASAP, something void of any form of grief and sadness, something to shake the spell of gloom Yewande cast on me. So I picked up “Tomorrow I become a woman” by Aiwanose Odafen. I can’t help but eulogize Nigerian and African authors in general. They tell stories in the most magnificent way.
I will start by applauding the writers use of very uncommon Igbo names like Kamfeechukwu, Aghaegbuna, Kasarachi, Esomichi, Eriife, Zinachukwu, it was exciting discovering these names. Although not of the Igbo tribe, Aiwanose’s particular ability and skill in detailing the experience of the Igbos during and after the Biafra war is spectacular, the effect of the war and recovery process of the Igbos was brought into light in a very detailed yet subtle way. (warning; some parts of this book might be triggering for some set of individuals).
The storyline is quite familiar but it was told differently which made it very beautiful. It is the famous storyline highlighting the struggles of women in the rural society, domestic violence, female friendships, difficult marriage, difficult but utterly necessary mother and daughter relationships, expectations and limitations of the girl child as well as the mother. In this sphere the writer encompasses political turmoil, war and its effects, losses that make and shake bonds and relationships, religious beliefs and dynamics, complex family dynamics, values and bonds, patriotism, betrayal and so much more.
“Tomorrow I become a woman” describes the lives of 3 friends Uju, Chinelo and Adaugo who were introduced into a circle of friendship quite early through the bond that existed between their mothers. They went right ahead create their own bond and sisterhood. It visualizes their childhood, adolescence and adulthood together. Being bound by the societal expectations of young women they try to navigate finding suitors pleasing not only their parents, but their clan as a whole, the struggles and pressure involved. It explores in details their travails to meet societal, religious and cultural expectations within the confines of an utterly difficult, loveless and abusive marriage. Motherhood and a female friendship that spans decades, and is tried by different circumstances.
Aiwanose Odafen’s method of writing is riveting. She gives a miniature detail of an event and goes on to explain in full detail another event preceding the earliest while holding unto your suspense for initial for just the right amount of time, then releasing the information just when necessary. Like when she gave a glimpse of the fact that Ikenna was not dead and had written home from London but immediately diverted into details of Uju’s fathers 70th birthday party and the events of it, and in some unconventional way connected the birthday party with the search for Ikenna’s remains in Asaba. Tremendous right?
It did not have the conventional unrealistic happy ending and that was a huge relive for me. It had a hungry but deeply gratifying finish. Nevertheless it was a good book, the writer deserves her accolades. My favorite part of the novel was when Uju’s brothers Ikechukwu, Ugochukwu, Kelechi and their friend Peter beat Gozie (Uju’s abusive husband) mercilessly for giving their sister a black eye. It was so satisfying to read.
Some of my favorite quotes from Tomorrow I Become a Woman are;
“I wondered if we were ever great as a nation or if it was just human nature to romanticise the past, blurring out the evil and focusing solely on that which had brought them joy.”
“The war had made our people paranoid, and so we built homes at ‘home’ so that in the incident of a recurrence and the union of the nation falling apart, we had a place to return to.”
‘beauty with brains, they called her, as though the two were mutually exclusive”
‘It is like a man with an eye problem approaching his friend to apply eye-clearing medicine, and instead he puts pepper in it.”
“My lap shall not be the graveyard for any man.”
“ If only one of something is remaining, it is as good as finished.”
To my girlfriends, mothers, sisters, aunties, grandmothers all trying to navigate being a woman in this dispensation. Well done.
Love, light and chicken.
