I don’t feel any better doc.

This is the first startup I’ve actually taken seriously, but you tell me, is it because i’m getting old or is it that i’m taking the proper time and precautions this time. When I was 17 and slinging shirts in Pizza boxes around town to make a little cash and show off my design chops, I would be up until 5am, sleep until 9am and head into part time shitkicker job shrink wrapping CD’s & DVD’s (yeah like that’s a relevant medium anymore) head to design college from 6 until 9pm, get home and keep designing, repeat for a year.

24 now, most people would be like “oh dude, you’re still young” but I can’t keep up that pace, it’s 2am now and I can’t push myself any longer, even though I have more work than ever to do. Am I uninspired? eh, maybe that’s it… no actually that’s not it, I have everything fueling me at this point, well versed investors believing in my idea, a team of top notch talent on board, a model that will literally rake in millions if executed well and to top it all off, pure fucking revenge in sight.

It’s more than I ever had at 17, yet, this rusty ole engine just doesn’t get the same mileage it used to. From what I’ve read, the key is living healthy, but that ain’t me, by this point my blood is some fucked up hybrid of caffeine, nicotine and hummus. They say sound body sound mind, but god, you look at Clive Palmers soft shitty body (Shout out C.A.H) and tell me that living healthy is the key to success in business.

All this taken into consideration, I think i’m confusing taking careful & measured steps as being old, saying that same thing another way, I’m finally gaining some god damn maturity. That would also explain my sudden urge to actually advance in my 9–5er, stop wearing sneakers & jeans to work and start shaving more regularly. I’m worried though, will losing my ‘unique edge’ take away my point of difference as a CEO? or will it be what makes more people start taking me seriously? Does it even matter who I am, or do I let the product I create speak volumes for me… will my product be different if I’m not?

By this point you’ve probably realised, I’ve immersed myself so far into my product I’m beginning to have an identity crisis. Let’s wrap this up nicely now and bring home the point of this story. I’m going for a run tomorrow morning, cue me running 100m then most likely dying, if I do live however I’ll probably find that ‘living healthy’ thing, the purpose it serves is reminding you that you’re a human, not a product.

Take it easy.