lunch with lee(ARE YOU RIDING OR HIDING?)

Today’s Menu: I ain’t even hungry

Watching an episode of Modern Family…The one where the family spends the day at Disneyland. And Phil, a forty plus old guy insisting he still has ‘it’ to keep pace with his fouteen-year-old son. Ten minutes into the show and he is queasy and on his way down.

Speaking of down and out…my family, who could easily be in the running for our own reality tv show, visited an amusement park recently. Let the fun began…

I’ve heard many different versions. It depends on the person and the level of expertise. For example…never ride on an empty stomach… never ride on a full stomach…my personal advice…never ride at all. But that’s just my opinion. Forgive me; a childhood trauma is rearing its ugly head. Tilt a whirl aka tilt a hurl. Don’t make me go back there. Please. Oh, the horror.

Anyway…everyone else in the family was excited and ready to ride. And they did for the most part. Until they came upon The Beast; Fury 325. Not just some ordinary run of the mill rollercoaster. This $30,000,000 monster of steel stands at 325 ft in height. With a 320 ft drop and a 95 mph speed is the tallest and fastest giga coaster in the world. All impressive stats. So much so that they mean absolutely nothing when people…In particular my nephew(no name…it’s a guy thing)managed to wobble off then make a not so graceful landing on a bench where he proceeded to hurl. According to him it was the greasy fries that caused the imbalance…the headache…the queasiness. And of course, we believed him. Uh-huh. But he wasn’t the only one. Some had to take ibuprofens. Most weebled and wobbled. I guess they too had greasy fries.

Or, perhaps they should be more like me…let the rides be a memory. On second thought, I don’t even have fond memories. They can ride all they want. I’ll just walk around. The only lines I want to stand in is for candy apples, funnel cakes, and cotton candy. Oops. That’s a carnival. That’s my point. Amusement parks, they confuse you. After all these years…that damn tilt a whirl still has me spinning.