lunch with lee(MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT)

Today’s Menu: I’ll cry if I want to.

Chrissy is sitting on the passenger’s side. Her mom, Flo, is behind the wheel. Aunt Daisy is in the back. Me, I’m just along for the ride.

What is wrong with this picture? I know. I know. Chrissy never lets her mom drive her car. Must be a teenage thing. Something is wrong. Terribly, terribly wrong. The world is coming to an end wrong.

We are on our way to the doctor. Chrissy has a 1:15 endoscopy scheduled. Sounds a lot worse than it actually is. Although, a scope down your throat isn’t fun.

Waiting Room-3:05. Almost two hours behind schedule and Chrissy was growing more nervous by the minute.

“I can’t do this. I can’t do this,” Chrissy blurts out. And in the infinite wisdom of a 19 year old, she resorted to what comes naturally…bribery.

“Mom, I’ll pay you a hundred dollars not to make me take this test.” Her voice cracked.

Flo went bugged-eyed. Did a double triple take.

That’s when the nurse called Chrissy’s name. And the tears began.

Sobbing Teen Walking.

In the prep room, overhearing snippets of a conversation between the nurse and another patient through one of those super thin partition… “You’re not going to cough up your intestine, ma’am.”

Then came the waterworks. “Mom, I’ve been saving for a jeep. I will give you the money. All of it, if we leave. Like now.”

“You’re having the test.” Flo insisted.

The nurse comes in, needle in hand. “Are we already?

“No,” Chrissy sobs.

“No? What seems to be the problem?

Flo answers for her. “She just needs to calm down. It’ll be ok, Pooh,” she said soothingly, while stroking her hair and rubbing her forehead.

“I will give her a few minutes to calm down.” The moment the nurse exited, loving mom turned into gangsta Flo. “Listen up, you better stop this damn crying…and stop it now. You’re taking that test.”

When the nurse returned, there were still some sniffling going on. But for the most part, the geyser had been capped. Flo wasn’t taking any changes, though. She told the nurse, “Stab her. Stab her, now. Knock her out.” Flo had gone hardcore.

Drive there time. Waiting room time. Prep time: Around 3–4 hours.

Actual procedure time: Less than 10 minutes.

Crying time: Has she stopped yet?