So what happens now?

I said I would not comment. I said I would not even entertain the matter publicly. Why? Because I really didn't want to deal with the issue at all. I was in disbelief, and needed to come to terms with the outcome in my own time.

And so I did…at least I think I have. I’m not really sure. I feel almost numb, like I’m living in a haze. Or standing in an open field in the early morning before the sun has had time to burn off the morning fog. I could try and go into detail about what happened according to the political experts. Or try and elaborately write a break down of the events that were a long time coming, as so many of my fellow Medium writers have. But honestly that isn’t what I want to accomplish with this post. I don’t think there is anything I want to accomplish with this post except to relieve a little thought. This is really just me, a young black woman, born and raised in an urban inner city in the North East of the US, posting my reality of what has and is happening now through my eyes.

On one hand part of me is happy all this has happened. Because it exposed the dead painful root of hatred still embedded in our nation. Yeah those of us not in denial always knew it was there, but now it has been exposed for the mass amounts of disbelievers to see for themselves. What’s scary is all the people who were waiting in the shadows to come out of hiding as soon as they felt it was socially acceptable, which by the way in case you didn’t get the memo it is not. But on the other hand I’m angry. Not because Hilary didn’t win but, because I have never been so turned off of a Presidential election in my LIFE.

The hate, the gross comments, the explicit language the sheer disrespect for one another was overwhelming. There were moments where I felt that someone should have walked up and pulled everybody off stage by their ears and made them sit in the corner until they pulled themselves together and acted like the “mature” adults they have the ability to be. Now look, we have a country more divided than ever and droves of individuals scared and anxious about what happens next.

I’m unnerved because I have children to raise in this environment, I have family and friends who do as well. And for the life of me, I do not know what to tell my children what happens next. What choices are there? We do we sit back and just patiently watch what happens or do we continue to protest. And if we protest what exactly are we protesting for? To put another individual in office based off of popularity? A person who will govern by the same laws which allowed all this mess to happen in the first place. Or are we protesting a change in ourselves as a people. A people who want to see a change in the laws which have proven time and time again they just don’t work for the country anymore. Especially for the middle and lower class people who in my opinion carry the country on their backs.

I’m hoping for major positive change, or at least for the country to start heading in the right direction. Maybe this was the push people needed in order to understand that sometimes you cannot just sit back and say nothing, nor can you accept defeat. You may have to put yourself out there, you may need to get dirty, you may need to learn your rights and then exercise them.

I do not know what will happen, I can only say what I believe needs to happen. And that is change. Pure, raw and massive change.