Weird Times

I’m not a very romantic person. When I like someone romantically, it means that I find them aesthetically pleasing and I don’t mind physical contact with them. Despite this, I have a girlfriend. Don’t get me wrong; I really like her. Just not in the same way that she likes me. I have no idea how to tell her this. I want her to be happy- but I also don’t want to be in a relationship I’m not engaged in. It’s not fair for either us, so I should just cut it off, right? Well, it’s slightly more complicated than that. There’s also a boy. I have a really deep emotional and spiritual connection with this boy. He understands me, and I feel like I understand him.

Out of nowhere, he texted me on a Monday night. He told me that he loved me. At first I was startled and positive that I didn’t feel the same way. Then I thought about it. And I kept thinking about it. ‘It’ being him. I realized I probably thought about this boy more than my girlfriend even before his confession. I didn’t think that meant anything, but… How could I be sure? I was so sure if I had ever felt love, I would’ve realized it. Right? Well, I’m not so sure anymore. Could love really be something much more slow and subtle than I thought?

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