Strong. Black. Woman. The Theft of Black Femininity and Vulnerability.

The complexities and trauma of being a black woman in America.

We are taught that we cannot be weak, because we are not viewed as women or entitled to protection. We are taught to take care of everyone, but never practice self-care, or else we aren’t doing it right, picture “Big Mama” from the movie Soul Food. We know how that ended for her, right? Right. But, do we think about real people like our Big Ma’s or Henrietta Lacks? In watching the documentary of her life, I learned that she was not only raising 4 children, but she also took care of virtually everyone around her, including her community. After her death, her body was used to modernize healthcare as we know it and her cells have saved countless lives, all without any form of compensation to her family. Black women are literally expected to selflessly give until we can’t give any more and be happy doing it. This belief is reaffirmed by structural racism in American society, even after discovering that their mother’s cells and theirs were stolen, the courts found that they had no right to action. I think that by and large we’ve learned that this comes from society’s perception of ownership and control over black bodies and personhood. Now, we are seeing a shift where black women are starting to be more cognizant of the “tending instinct” and investing more time in practicing self care and demanding our care and humanity, which is good. It is a much needed shift. But somehow, this realization by and large has not stopped us from being…