Why?

I’ve been asked hundreds of why’s before but I can’t seem to give the answer for them or Am I just scared to tell them the truth just because I might hurt them? hurting someone isn’t my thing ever, because I don’t want them to grow up hating me. I don’t want them to have ill feelings towards me. It just sucks. It didn’t feel good it doesn’t make you a better person.

But sometimes we can’t just avoid hurting someone, it’s like the situations tells you “Hurt them.” and I was like “No. I can’t.” “You need to. If you don’t things will get worse and they might get hurt more than you do.” so I ended up hurting them. Because of that I’m starting to hate myself for hurting them just because the situations doesn’t want us to be together. I’m starting to doubt myself if I can do it, not to hurt someone. Because it’s not me. It’s so not like me. I just can’t hurt them because I don’t want to feel the same thing. I was a best friend but then I became the most hated person that she could hate the most.

And I am so sorry for giving her the pain that she doesn’t even deserved. I was the best friend yet I gave her the heart ache that a true friend could not ever give. I was ruthless. Heartless. Selfish. The worse in me became visible to me the moment I saw her crying, shouting in pain. I don’t even know how I will take it but then again, I did. I just don’t want to be her best friend anymore not because I don’t like it anymore, I just can’t give my best that a best friend can give to her. I just can’t be the best for her. That’s why I choose to let her go. I choose to hurt the best friend I choose not to have.

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