I remember feeling a wave of panic wash over me. I remember struggling to cope with my fear even as it hit me continuously, wave after steady wave. As I recall that moment, I can almost feel my lips quiver, my fingers tremble, as they did that night.
When you looked me in the eyes, I felt like I was losing control. So much turmoil, profound chaos, in my head.
Loud music was playing in the background and people were having a good time dancing the night away. Hundreds walked up and down the halls and there was constant chattering. In the midst of all that noise, it felt that we were wrapped in our very own bubble of silence.
The three words, all eight letters, were uttered in a whisper before I had time to process my chain of thought. A whisper barely audible, given the circumstances, but you heard me. You heard me loud and clear. I met your gaze and tried to hold it steady. I was completely overcome by my own emotions and I was visibly afraid but at the same time, I felt an immense sense of relief. You said nothing as you reached for my hand and you held it tight, your fingers intertwined with mine. You held on to me for the remainder of the night.
As the night came to an end, we drove home to my place, we undressed in silence and in bed, you instinctively reached over and placed my arm around you as you gently laid your head on my chest. My heart refused to calm down and I knew you could hear it beating away furiously. I was admittedly nervous. You looked up at me, buried your head in my chest and you whispered, “I love you too”.
Almost four years on and I remember ever so vividly the first time I knew I was truly, madly, deeply and unconditionally in love with you.
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