There are Two Kinds of Personal Development
There are two kinds of personal development:
1. The trendy kind, where people engage until they get a temporary fix or feel-good high from ‘going deep’ and getting somewhat uncomfortable
2. The needed kind, where people go farther than what is uncomfortable, to what is actually needed to shift for them to have the lives they want.
Insights are cool, but how far are you willing to go for your life? For yourself?
This inquiry led me to one of my biggest, most impactful breakthroughs.
I admit, when one of my coaches first told me I had a lot of anger, I felt like I was going to puke. They saw through me. I realized it must be obvious to everyone else… Which also made me want to puke. “Okay, so I have a lot of anger. Thanks,” I could have said, and maybe entertain joining a boxing class to mitigate it.
Instead, I dove in. I was introduced to my anger face to face, took her hand and kissed it, and asked her to dance. I asked her where she was from. I followed her to all of her old stomping grounds — no pun intended — and basked in getting to know her.
The truth was, after seeing where I was responsible for my darling anger, I saw why she had stayed so close for so long. She had unfinished business.
She was there not just to protect me, but to protect others too. She was there for girls all over the world who don’t get the education they deserve. She was there to remind me of all the relationships that crumble unnecessarily. She was there for me to learn that it’s okay to reconcile with my femininity. She was there FOR me. For us.
And so, I gave her what she wanted.
Every day my life is about noticing my anger, and giving her what she really wants. The opportunity to make right what doesn’t work in this world. And with that, my anger doesn’t have to be an irresponsibly expressed tension or bratty outburst. It is a compass for where my heart longs to make a difference.
All from me being willing to look at my anger, which we often find so ugly.
Push past the ‘un’comfort zone into the puke zone. Whoever meets you there, ask them to dance. You may just fall in love with them.