Often, when I mention I work in the life coaching space, people will tell me about their own transformational stories or challenges. This past weekend I was offered one situation that truly struck a chord with me because I could wholeheartedly relate. This guy was concerned for his family member because she wasn’t confident in her decisions. She’s jumping in to another relationship and isn’t certain if the guy is even right for her. The only thing she knows for sure is that she doesn’t want to be alone.
I’d been there. Without a sense of clarity, you can’t fight for what you want, so you lead your life by dodging what you don’t. You take every offer you get because it might be right and you have to move forward in one direction to have any chance at finding your true north. For me, it always came down to this question:
Do I trust my head or my heart?
When we’re lacking self-love and -assurance, it’s easy to flounder between head and heart because we find both to be untrustworthy. We may be linking both with failure rooted in baggage from the past.
Can you trust your mind? Well, you may acknowledge that your mind is logical, but also that it’s the source of your “what if’s,” your anxiety and the never-ending analysis of things — much of which doesn’t need analyzing. If the mind can run rampant like this, surely it cannot be trusted.
And, the heart? Well, the heart may have lead you into some relationships that fell apart. Surely, it cannot be trusted.
There’s a silver lining here. The key to trusting yourself involves neither the head nor the heart. It’s about having a dialogue with your intuition.
Your intuition comes from somewhere else — a deep knowing. Those who are deeply intuitive will tell you it’s divinely guided. My ability to sometimes know what’s going to happen before things happen has encouraged me to believe this is so. This divine knowing is what myself and my spiritual mentors refer to as your higher self.
Your higher self is beyond logic, beyond emotion and it knows what’s best for you.
Is it a hell yes or a hell no?
When you get quiet and form a relationship with intuition you’re able to hear it and the answers to your most challenging life questions become more clear. As I’ve been working to connect with my own intuition, I’ve “come to terms” with a lot of things, which is so to say that I already knew the answers but had been second guessing myself for a long time.
When it comes to making decisions, trust that you already know, but understand that it may take time to develop a productive relationship with intuition — to test it and trust it.
Do not beat yourself up about choosing the head or the heart. Trust your intuition instead and do the work to massage out the “what ifs” that block you from trusting that inner knowing.
If you want to talk books, meditations and rituals that strengthen your relationship with your higher self, DM me! I’ve got a growing pile o’ resources waiting for you.