To My Mother and Sister
It’s been a tough week. Not just for me but for everyone because Mercury is in retrograde and we’re in-between a Capricorn new moon and a Leo full moon.
As I’m writing this right now, the moon is in Leo and the sun is in Aquarius.
My family life is dramatic, just like any other family. I’m kinda the first generation in my family. My mother is from the Philippines and my father is from New York City. I’m a millennial. People call me a hipster and it’s annoying.
My mom means well. She tries hard to be the perfect wife and the perfect mom. Sometimes she tries so hard that she does more harm than good. When she does harm, it’s really bad. That’s why I live far away from her. She complains about everyone being crazy but she’s really talking about herself.
Anyway, this week I received a text message from her out of the blue. She didn’t text me happy new year or merry christmas. She tells me that she’s kicking my sister and her one year old daughter out of the house because she had a male guest at the house.
My mom only talks to me when she wants to vent. When she vents she says the most crazy shit I can’t even repeat it without feeling embarrassed that I’m related to her.
I’ve tried being a good daughter to my mother since I can remember. I make an effort to contact her. I listen to her when she talks. Sometimes I’ll give in and wear matching clothes with her.
My mom is extremely controlling and she’s gotten worse over the years. I can’t even sit in the same room with her without feeling a sting of anxiety.
I was surprised by my own reaction when I read the text. I honestly didn’t care. For the first time in my life, I didn’t care that my mom and sister were fighting. I knew it was going to happen. People follow the same pattern throughout their lives just with different people, circumstances and environments.
After being fired 7 times, going on unemployment, food stamps, and just trying to get by, I realized that a lot of things I thought were “the worst thing ever” actually isn’t. You wanna know what the worst thing ever is? Not having a place to live. Not having food to eat. Not having water. Worrying about your safety — as a adorable petite brown woman in the city.
You think I give a shit that my mom is kicking my sister out? My sister hasn’t even tried making her own rent. She’s just been living off of my parent’s money since she was born. She’s too scared to make it out on her own.
A part of me is glad that my mom is kicking her out. She needs to learn how to be an adult and understand what the real world is like. Ever since she had her baby she’s been on this “I’m so much more mature than you because I’m a mother” hype. If you’re such an adult that you think you can raise your baby on your own then just do it. If you were really mature you would show enough respect not to bring a stranger into your parents house after they ask you not to. Mom and dad didn’t need to let you stay with them. All you had to do was respect their home because it’s THIERS not yours.