What does this current season of Life feel like? And YOU cannot walk OUT!
Hello Friends
This time, I won’t ask ‘How are you?’ as of late — I absolutely don’t like that question. I guess that’s the season I am currently in — It’s not that I am suicidal or anything but right now, no words can explain how I am right now.
Wow — such a deep place to start this blog but I am also on the journey of being more vulnerable with God and the people He has bought into my space to bless. The last blog was sometime in June and I am so grateful to God for all of you guys — who read and engage on my stuff from here, to YouTube, to the podcasts. I am humbled by your LOVE. I see that we are 10 people away from 100 followers on Medium; please if you haven’t joint the family — Please go ahead and follow our blog.
Some cool stuff has happened since our last blog — we traveled, we shot new shows, etc — there is a lot of good that has taken place friends.
I shot a YouTube video on a subject that I am still healing and navigating from — the feedback was great. If you didn't see it — here it is.
OH YES — I mentioned a new show — well, it’s taking a show, we have had on the podcast from 2021 to a new level that the Lord has guided me in. Also, the exciting part of this is a whole NEW TEAM. I absolutely can’t wait for you to meet them and experience their awesomeness.
Here is some Behind the Scene Sneak peek of us praying on SET.
Friends, the past three months have been different — I entered a different season of the Wilderness and I am sure I am not the only one as some of my friends too are in this place.
Three WORDS to try explain it but don’t even begin to explain it!
BEING STRETCHED. BEING STRIPPED. BEING OPENED.
This is so hard, it is for sure — not nice too.
When we started shooting for the new show that is so vitally part of this huge destiny/journey that God is building in me. We had challenges with the team that rocked out of nowhere and we were absolutely aware of WHY. Sometimes, you may know why you are experiencing certain challenges but not the exact reasons behind them. Without understanding it fully and taking action, you may continue to struggle and linger.
During the shoot — the work we are doing became so clear of how Spiritual it is — this is where I was realizing that something is UP personally. It became so scary — grateful to the team as they carried me through my emotions and nerves. This also, caused how personal and spiritual we become regards to the rollout and where we are going with it.
Being chosen for an assignment by your employer is different than being chosen by God.
Firstly, What makes it worse is that it’s not really about you but the people God is calling you for.
I recently saw a thread post that literally communicated my feelings.
When I read this — I took a moment to breathe as this is really how I feel. I have personally been through a lot in life in general to want to make an ‘impact on earth’ especially part of my actual journey of making an impact in the past 10 years.
The Cost of it, The Abuse, the Betrayal isn’t worth it. I would rather be sipping a cocktail at the beach; while enjoying life traveling but it’s God’s desire for me to live out my newly found purpose.
Unfortunately my friends — unlike my old purpose; this new purpose I don’t have a choice to step out of it. Trust me, If I DID — I would have, this reminds me of Jesus saying to the Father — if this cup can pass him, please let it pass.
I have spoken on this before about how it wasn’t easy for Jesus to go on that cross and die for the sins of men, who would more likely still reject Him.
I think I went deep on this chat on my series of ‘Starting Over’ — the Lord made me pause that series because of the seasons that I was going to talk about next I needed to deal with them personally first.
Here is the link for part 2 — you will find part 1 there too.
Back to Jesus, friends!
Did the cup pass Him? No
Will the cup pass Me? No
And if you are in this season that I am in; Will the cup pass You? No
Ephesians 1:4 AMP
just as [in His love] He chose us in Christ [actually selected us for Himself as His own] before the foundation of the world, so that we would be holy [that is, consecrated, set apart for Him, purpose-driven] and blameless in His sight.
Look at these words:
CONSECRATED, SET APART, and PURPOSE-DRIVEN
Side note — please do research on these words
Think of the words I shared above earlier:
BEING STRETCHED. BEING STRIPPED. BEING OPENED.
The verse above says ‘before the foundation of the world’. How do you then fight God on that?
When you take a moment and think about it — you realize how beautiful it is that you are chosen and set apart for Jesus to impact this world. We live in a time - where everything indicates the need for the move of God and those chosen to be part of the movement to take up the cross and be the Voices that God has called them to be.
Yet friends, there is a journey of preparation and process that isn’t as rosy as the above. Where all the stretching, stripping, and pain happens.
It’s called ‘the Wilderness’ — not a lot of people especially Christians know of this although it is so big in the bible. There are many different wilderness seasons in life.
Shall we go into this chat quickly?
The children of Israel were led by Moses into the Wilderness out of slavery, right? Let’s call this WILDERNESS 1
Wilderness 1 shows us how God used Moses to introduce the children of Israel who had been slaved by Pharoah for years to FREEDOM.
So the key point of this wilderness is to bring His children into FREEDOM. Now, imagine being imprisoned for years to being told you are free — It is not that simple right? therefore, the Lord needs to help His people
Unlearn, Relearn, and Become Free.
Now, this season is often the rosy time of wilderness cause God pours his Grace and takes care of his children. Let me explain it this way, think of it as this; the time, you are a child — no responsibilities, no cares, your parents take care of everything you just breathe and unlearn and heal.
It is the healing part of it that might hurt in this season because it comes with a lot of reflecting, reliving, and accountability of your side depending on your contribution to your past slavery. For example, my Wilderness 1 was just after leaving the CULT posing as a Church, which I was part of — the unlearning, healing, and learning part was hard — especially also, the reflecting on my involvement and how I let so much slide ‘in the name of following instructions or being humble’.
So in short — Look at Wilderness 1 as being freed. There is so much that happened but it’s mostly about separating you from the OLD and the introduction of the NEW.
Here is a visual description of what Wilderness 1 looks like:
What's Wilderness 2 you ask?
For a second; think about Adulthood!
Let’s go back to the children of Israel — we know that God took care of them by day; He covered them with a cloud and by night; he covered them with fire. He fed them etc. So, we see him take good care of them right? but guess what! They never made it to the PROMISE LAND. After spending 40 years in the Wilderness.
How crazy is it that they never made it to the promised land? I mean What could have possibly stopped them and what was worse than being slaves to Pharaoh?
Would I go back to the Cult perhaps? Absolutely not!
So what does Wilderness 2 look like?
Study the two pictures and observe something.
What Wilderness 2 pulls out of us is Trusting Jesus — when the promises seem and feel far. In Wilderness 1; quite often, the Lord restores you with new promises and you step into them, that is necessarily how the children of Israel could even leave Eygpt — it would have never been possible if it was not for the Lord.
The Promises(His Word) of God are what leads us to Truth and Freedom.
His truths are what we lean on and live by, but what happens when they all feel far and absent?
God is His Word and when His word/promises feels far — He feels far!
In this season — the children of Israel weren’t dealing with Pharoah but what God was now initiating was a transformation of SELF and a preparation of the NEW. You can never enter the Promise Land with the OLD and with a lack of Total Surrender to HIM.
Scripture speaks on not ‘Leaning on your own understanding’ — quite often, we do this because it's safe and doesn’t require complete trust in HIM.
Now, this is where the downfall is — imagine being in Slavery for centuries then you are all of a sudden FREED. How would you navigate the ‘new life’?
IMPOSSIBLE — He who freed you needs to help you start the NEW.
Close to 14 years in a Cult from the age of 9 — how was I supposed to navigate this life? This is why, in 2021 — I was full of uncertainty, fear, etc but the One, who said I should leave said — He will help me and restore me. Friends, He was faithful to His word.
Wilderness 2 — STRETCHES YOU TO ONE THING!
Trusting Him even when it feels like HIS not THERE!
BELIEVING IN WHAT HE SAID TO YOU — EVEN WHEN IT FEELS OVERWHELMING!
SEEING THE VISIONS OF HIS ASSIGNMENT FOR YOU — EVEN WHEN THINGS LOOK LIKE THEY ARE FALLING APART IN REAL LIFE.
What we see in this picture too is that the person is equipped for this journey — they have their tools and backpack with them. God has equipped us too for this journey but often it feels like the opposite.
The version of the song ‘WayMaker’ made by different musicians has such a beautiful part to it.
It says
‘Even when I don’t see it, YOU ARE WORKING’
‘Even when I don’t feel it, YOU ARE WORKING’
‘YOU NEVER STOP WORKING!’
The cult leader once said that God is not working — which is not even scriptural — every day, I have a reason to thank Jesus for freeing me.
Philippians 1:6 AMPC
And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ [right up to the time of His return], developing [that good work] and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you.
The children of Israel instead of laying their full trust in Jesus; began to complain and got into distraction.
Why you may ask?
Simple; They mostly put their TRUST in Moses.
And when Moses wasn’t Moseing (not a word) — they got discouraged and distracted. This can result in you forgetting the promises of God and the spoken word over your life. The Grace lifts and if your firm foundation isn’t Christ — it’s about to be rocky
Let’s bring this to now:
Part of the healing, unlearning, and accountability in Wilderness 1 — is the hard realization that we place, put our trust, and exalt people, things (especially money), etc above God; and if you understand a cult — the Cult Leader is the Demi-God, ‘The MAN OF GOD’
Or in our day-to-day life — we often put our jobs above God right? The saddest and what God dislikes also is when we put our trust in the blessings He gives us, instead of HIM.
He is a kind Father so He will give you grace to deal with this, for a certain period and truth is, in the journey of this grace, we sense and feel the kind message but we often ignore it because the instruction installs uncertainty.
E.g. When God begins to tell you to leave the job that you have exalted and felt safe in? for you to completely trust him as your ONE and ONLY SOURCE.
He doesn’t say, Leave this job, here is a better one NO.
He says ‘Leave and Follow Me.
When the grace lifts; things all fall apart at the same time and you are left hurt not necessarily at God but at your lack of obedience to His voice
Now, this is so hard.
All I am thinking is — Why I’m I even on this journey?
I just want to live a normal life, Dear God.
He allows the enemy to throw all forms of attacks, challenges, etc cause He trusts you so much to stand on the Words He shared with you.
IT HAS NOT BEEN EASY, FRIENDS.
I have wanted to give up so many times, but I can’t unhear those promises and the journey He is taking me on. What He has called me for and the people He has called me for.
Coming to the acceptance that my whole entire life has been for the journey ahead. The fact that He would allow me to go through so much in the past 24 years for this VERY Moment coming!
Let’s Pray for Each other! It is so important.
This journey or rather this part of the wilderness isn’t that we doubt God’s existence but it is the TRUSTING HIM. I did a short video on this recently.
My friends, I am still learning on this journey of the wilderness, and my amazing Jesus friend and family — who happens to be known by many as Pastor Karen sent me a series by John Bevere on the subject of the Wilderness — I am probably finishing it this week.
Have a listen too; its so insightful
Friends, the truth is — yes, this current season is hard and there is A LOT of in-the-mind warfare but please know this ‘GOD WILL WORK IT OUT’ — THE RIGHTEOUS WILL AND HAS NEVER BEEN FORSAKEN.
What I know about this season right now is that Jesus is driving us to fully trust Him; not because He is practicing his Lordship over us, but for the assignment ahead. Trusting Him that in this bright life ahead that He will provide all resources and all we need without the help of men.
It is working out for our GOOD!
What the devil often does in this season is — manipulate what Wilderness 1 introduces — which is Isolation — the Devil will want to paint isolation from God, not to God.
The Wilderness isolates you from the world for a season so that you can be with God and hear His voice only. Yet, in a season like Wilderness 2, the Devil will push isolation from God and visibility to the world. Refuse Isolation from God.
I personally right now, haven’t been in communication with so many people who are really there for me, my cousin, my family even some friends and that’s often not because I want to but because I don’t know how to explain what God is doing in my life right now. Yes, it’s completely unfair to them and if they are reading — Please bare with me. I am sorry.
Even in my new church that Jesus led me to — I haven’t been going as I am still fairly new and they have been amazing and wanting to be in my life. Apart from my cult triggers — I am taking things slowly.
Worshipping more than I pray or read my bible — it's okay; the devil will say you are not doing it right but I would rather be wrong in His Presence than out of His PRESENCE.
Here are some songs I am listening to right now:
Now friends, the last song — I am going to share with you — I have a young story to share.
A few days, I was walking in my estate for my daily evening walks and Lord reminded me of a song or medley that just bought a huge smile and laughter to my face as it reminded me of my wonderful journey as a Christian — it’s one of those that I consider a gospel classic — if you know it, that can only indicate your faithful journey in the Lord, not necessarily, your years as a Christian but a testimony of how indeed this Good JESUS has been Faithful and TRUE!
If you know it — Share with us, your first encounter with it and how old you were. I was around 6/7 years old when I first heard it — WOW
What are you currently listening to friends to help you in this season you are in?
Are you a subscriber to our YouTube channel? SUB HERE
And our other platforms especially our podcast network.
I definitely want to hear your thoughts and what you have to say and perhaps add on — we are a community and I believe that God can speak to all of us and there is no personality needed or middle man needed to share His thoughts.
Let’s also become friends on socials follow me @kgotsohopelekau but also use #BeingRealwithKG
I love you all
Love
Kgotso