so this is what heartbreak feels like.

it’s a year of continued hollowness expanding and contracting in my chest with each ragged breath that escapes my chapped lips.

it’s feeling invisible knives digging deeper into my soul every time i think a thought that relates even slightly to him.

it’s seeing his hands and being sent into a flashback; it’s a year ago and life is one beautiful daydream and his hands are on me, on my body, and i’m smiling and laughing the way i never i have before and never have since.

it’s moving from guy to guy, trying to get over him, but my heart just can’t seem to let go; every time it thinks it’s over, it remembers him, and it beats stronger at the prospect of seeing him again.

it’s suffering and loss and pain and a million other things, but never for a second would i consider trading it for anything else.

because he is worth it. because my life is better because of him. because i still love him, and i’m not sure there will be a day i don’t.