It’s okay to have a messy life.

Leonie Westenberg
Aug 23, 2017 · 2 min read

What if what made me do all those things everyone thought I shouldn’t have done was what also had got me here? Cheryl Strayed, in her book Wild.

A friend bemoaned her less than perfect life, her life that wasn’t together as it seemed that everyone else’s was. Her messy life, filled with messy choices.

But what if, I said to her, what if your life and choices are what got you to where you are today? To the knowledge of self. To growth. To change and transformation.

We can second guess ourselves, look at mistakes or problems as consequences and blame. But these don’t have to be regrets. In fact, the messiness of life is what brings us to know ourselves. The messiness of life is what teaches us resilience. The messiness of life builds both empathy and determination.

Even the big mistakes, the life changing ones that make everything fall in a heap, even these messes can be a good in our lives. In facing our choices, owning them, experiencing the anger or sadness or grief, we have a way of truly being ourselves. That messy less than perfect human being who lives and loves, who finds beauty in the mess of life.

Not everything in our life will go as planned. I didn’t plan to be divorced or a single mum, for example. But out of the messy divorce arose strength and solidarity. I am who I am. No apologies. We are who we are. Our plans for development and progress come from the messiness of life. Not from perfection. For, if everything was always perfect, from where would come our desire for more, for better, for us and others?

Our messy choices do not define us. They are part of us. The part that encourages the new and next stage of life — personal life, relationships, business, work.

Embrace the messiness. Learn. Be truly you.

That’s what I told my friend. And myself.

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