Yours Truly…
This is the first open letter I’ve ever written to you. Up until now I’ve tried to keep you hidden from the World. Maybe that’s because everything good I’ve ever had got taken from me at some point, or left at their own will. Perhaps our love is better kept in your friend’s uphill soundproof studio apartment where I’ve spent those few nights and days with you, or in between the lines of our texts and long distance video calls at 4am when nothing seemed right in the World, but hearing your sleepy voice and seeing your teary eyes made something in me just burst and fill me up with this peace I’d never felt before. Perhaps our little secret should be just that, ours. Don’t worry, I won’t spill, even though your name slips my tongue like sweet tea in cold winter nights and the thought of you makes me tremble in the middle of the day. Nevertheless, I’ll leave this for you here. Maybe some day I’ll get the courage to show this to you, or to shout your name to the World, the way you’ve made my heart shout and beat and jump like a happy child on a Christmas morning once again. My veins bleed your name now and I call it out even when I can’t remember my own. I knew that ever since the first time I laid eyes on you. I never dared speak of it out loud, it was terrifying to even let myself think it, that I feel something I’ve never felt before for a complete stranger. How could I not? I’ve loved and given everything I’ve had to someone I thought I knew for the better half of a year just to see it all vanish in the blink of an eye. How could someone I’ve yet to know make my heart skip a beat and my breath knot in my throat? What kind of sorcery was this new gravity that had my entire being pulling towards you. You slowly took all that doubt and scare away with every word and gentle touch and devouring kiss and look in your eyes that cut right into my tormented heart! I’ve never tasted anything as sweet as the first kiss we shared in that studio when I was too shy and scared to even look up at you until you embraced me and locked your lips to mine. Yours were the first eyes to ever see me naked, in every bit of my damaged self. I have never let anyone touch me before. I’d jump away before anyone got the chance, but my conscience was begging me to give in to you. No one had ever called lovely, desirable or beautiful without expecting anything in return and I’ve never felt safer at my most vulnerable and insecure time. Those few hours felt like days and the conversations we had seemed endless and maybe you were just a stranger to me at the time but I would, without a doubt, bet my life that I know you, all of you, every inch of you to the very depth of your soul. I have traveled endlessly through the dimensions of this Universe and I’ve visited my fair share of hearts and souls and I’ve finally found myself a home in yours. I’m so madly and helplessly in love with you and nothing ever felt this right. You have the power to take me in or throw me away like everyone before, but for the very fist time I’m willingly and unconditionally giving myself to someone. I’m all yours! Truly, completely, entirely, unquestionably yours!
