Everything You Need to Know About Thai Mail Order Brides
Are you attracted to the grace and beauty of Thai women? You are not alone.
Every year hundreds of thousands of foreign men travel to Bangkok and spread out across the country looking for love, adventure, and excitement with beautiful Thai women.
A lot of those men are just looking for a sexual adventure. That is their choice and it is legal, but this article is for men looking for a deeper connection than a couple of wild nights.
Why Thai Women Make Great Wives for Western Men
Thailand’s history and culture actively encourage the traits that make Thai mail order brides devoted wives, particularly for older American, Australians, and Europeans.
Thailand is one of the few countries in the world that has never been colonized by a Western power, therefore, it lacks the heavy form of European cultural influence that so many other countries have.
There is nothing like the British influence that can be seen and felt across India or the slightly surprising endurance of French culture in modern Vietnam.
This isn’t necessarily a bad thing — not at all. In Thailand intellectuals never attacked Western influence with the venom of countries across the regions that staged bloody anticolonial wars to win their independence.
So, there is less underlying distrust of Europeans and Americans and none of the sense of righteous anger that is sometimes evident towards Caucasians across Asia.
This is one of the main reasons that Thailand is called “The Land of Thousand Smiles.” It simply does not have the bloody, tragic history of say Germany, France, Russia, Spain, or many other nations.
Schools do not load young girls up with horror stories about Western countries the way say Mexico, Vietnam, or India does.
In fact, Thai girls interpretation of the Western man is often synonymous with wealth, wisdom and workaholics.
Thai ladies have been heavily influenced by Western movies and TV over the years and see Western men as less patriarchal and kinder than their Thai men counterparts.
This is absolutely critical.
Most Thai girls have seen every Hollywood romantic comedy. That is good for Western men because they hope more than anything in the world that you will turn out to have a little Matthew McConaughey, Carey Grant, or at least some Billy Crystal inside you.
Why Do Thai Women Want to Date & Marry Western Men?
Many Thai women find that Thai men are cut from a different cloth then westerners — cloth the women often find rough and annoying.
Thai men have a bad reputation for having affairs, keeping mistresses, and lying. Thai men often restrict their wives and girlfriends to small part of their life.
They do not tend to show much respect for women, and so if a Thai lady has the opportunity to date a Westerner, she’s more inclined to say, “Yes, hell yes!”
Where to Find a Thai Bride
How do I stay in the country? Where should I go to find my one true love?
Luckily, this article will cover everything you need to know if you are planning on marrying a Thai mail order bride.
It’s always best to do your homework before finalizing on your decision so let’s go through some important aspects to bear in mind.
Thai mail order brides may come from one of two places, either a big city such as Bangkok or Pattaya or from the north-eastern district known as Isaan.
Thai girls from the city will come from respectable families and are more likely to be hesitant about meeting men online, at least not until you have chatted for a while.
They want to ensure you don’t assume that they are a prostitute and prove that they are genuinely interested in getting to know you.
The majority of city girls will speak excellent English or at least have some skill in conversation.
City girls will know more about Western culture than the Thai girls from Issan, for example, they know the difference between an American and a British man.
On the other side of the spectrum is Issan women. Issan is a predominately poor region of Thailand and the Thai women from there have had very little experience with Western men or only know a little English.
While this seems like a downfall, Isaan women are actually more willingly to meet a Western man.
City girls hold traditional values from Thai society, getting an education and career is just as important as starting a family however Thai society has changed to focus a little more on materialism which is why Issan girls view marrying a foreigner as a way of improving their quality of life, financial status and social status.
Cross-cultural marriage has become the norm in many villages in Isaan and is often seen as a triumph for the fortunate Thai lady.
Issan has suffered from major droughts and destitutions over the years with many men and women fleeing to big cities to work to send money home. This is still the case these days and many of the bar girls will come from Isaan.
Some of the Women from Issan are also previously married to Thai men and had kids, often perceived as a way of solving poverty but in reality never worked out.
Thai society’s view of cross-cultural marriage has changed dramatically over the years and nowadays Thai people welcome it with open arms. Only a few decades ago, the idea of cross-cultural marriage was a major taboo.
During the Vietnam War, many American troops lived in Thailand and had a number of women living with them as a “rent wife”.
For this reason, Thai society once rejected the idea of marriage between a Thai woman and a Western man since the Thai women were viewed as prostitutes and not loving wives of a Western man.
Cultural Issues You Need to Understand
Thailand has so many ancient cultural traditions which come with its own set of unspoken rules about what’s acceptable and what’s unacceptable behavior during courtship.
While some things may come to you intuitively as you spend time with your Thai bride, other cultural aspects are not so obvious so let’s have a look at a few.
Dress to Impress
There are countless western guys in Thailand who walk around wearing a vest, croc shoes and socks. It’s not exactly appealing to Thai women let alone any woman for that matter.
If you intend in meeting a Thai woman for the rest of your life, you need to dress to impress and really stand out.
It might seem challenging due to the tropical climate making you always sweat so aim to dress smart-casual. Carry a fashionable blazer with you for example (that you don’t actually intend on wearing).
Absolutely no flipflops, aside from being fashion suicide, you won’t even get entry to any of the cool rooftop bars.
In most western countries, a young, muscular man is often viewed as the most desirable even if he was wearing a vest and shorts however the beauty of Thailand is that you will become much more desirable on the basis of your clothes instead.
Public Displays of Affection and Arguments
Public displays of affection are generally disapproved of in Thailand. Things, like kissing, hugging, holding hands or even touching a Thai woman’s hair in public, is frowned upon.
It sounds like something from George Orwell’s 1984 novel but Thai’s are all about modesty.
Behaving yourself in public is even more so recommended in rural parts of Thailand as locals will likely know the girl you are dating personally and her family may feel embarrassed or lose face.
Younger modern Thai women won’t mind holding your hand but won’t kiss in public. If a Thai girl is apprehensive about public displays of affection, it’s actually a really good thing.
Arguing is a major no-no in public too. There’s no easier way to lose a girl than having an argument in a public place. She will lose face, feel embarrassed and ultimately break up with you.
Thai culture hates noise in general; you won’t ever see anyone beep the horn during a traffic jam.
If you have a problem, wait until you get home and even then talk about it in a calm manner.
Premarital Sex
Sex or “boom-boom” as it’s often delightfully referred to by Thai tuk-tuk drivers is not something you should expect before marriage or ask for or even demand.
Traditionally, a nine month courtship is regarded as enough time before she considers marrying your lucky butt and then making the boom-boom.
This prohibition against physical affection may seem like a nightmare for some however Thai women make up for it in being romantic and passionate instead, basically using more creative and alternative ways to express how they feel towards you.
If you are used to being physically affectionate or touch her inappropriately, the Thai girl might assume you are a sex tourist or worse, that you have mistaken her for a prostitute.
This is insulting and disrespectful and she will flee faster than Usain Bolt.
So try to behave yourself, respect your Thai girl’s wishes and wait until when it’s the right time and the right place.
Be a Gentleman
Good manners go a long way and are highly valued in many Asian cultures. Be polite in conversation, never interrupt when she’s talking (especially if she’s not great in English) and always offer a thoughtful gift.
If you do get her a gift, she won’t open it in front of you (it’s considered rude), she will wait until she’s home instead.
Try to inject humor as much as you can too, Thai’s tend to enjoy more slapstick humor so maybe doing impressions or doing a silly dance like a twerk will have her in hysterics.
Take the Relationship Slow
In general, you should never try to rush relationships. Some Thai women are eager to ensure that their future husband can support them financially and try to rush you so be wary of this.
Don’t let her move in unless you adamant that you will marry her.
If she turns out to not be who you thought she was, it can be difficult to get her to leave, often demanding some sort of payment for her to go.
Meet the Parents
Meeting the in-laws is one of the most important aspects of marrying your Thai girlfriend since you are practically marrying the family too.
Thai’s are very family-orientated and will spent a lot of time with their loved ones so make sure that you are comfortable with their company too.
If you get along with the parents then the relationship is going to flourish and anytime you meet the parents, use it as an opportunity to discuss the idea of spending western holidays with her family.
The Dowry or Sin Sod
Paying a large sum of money to your partner’s parents is a gesture of honor to show that you intend on supporting your future wife financially.
The average dowry you are expected to pay for an educated young Thai woman is anywhere from $3000-$10,000 though you may well be asked for up to $30,000 or even more.
Anything more than $10,000 is excessive but the choice is up to you and how deeply in love you are.
The dowry is a symbolic representation of the groom’ wealth and most of the time you will receive the Dowry back after the wedding.
1000 Smiles
When you arrive to Thailand, you will notice that pretty much everyone is so happy or so you may assume. Smiling doesn’t always constitute as happy, it’s considered better to keep up appearances or hide how you truly feel.
It might be down to a way of controlling a situation in a stoic manner or a preventive measure from losing face.
Seeing so many locals smiling is contagious; when you spend enough time in Thailand you too will smile a lot more than you did in your home country.
Learning More About Thai Culture
One of the best ways to learn about Thai culture is to watch some movies.
Yes, I could recommend academic journals, but you might actually watch a couple of these films.
Western tourism in Thailand has been explored in movies like Leonardo DiCaprio’s modern classic, The Beach, Impossible, and Hangover, Part II show different aspects of the tourism industry.
Thailand is a gorgeous country and there are a variety of areas to visit.
Check out the video below and you will understand why, even without the girls, Thailand should be on your bucket list.
You should also take a look at the classic 1956 film The King and I, a musical, and the 1991 non-musical retelling of the story starring Jodi Foster, Anna and The King.
Both films are based on a true story and both films will give you a good idea about why Thai women are so willing to consider Western men, because the king is not an easy man to get along with.
Of course, not every Thai man is a king, but a Thai woman will often tell you they all act like kings.
The fact is Western men are indeed more desirable; you have blue eyes, can grow a beard, speak English etc.
It sounds as simple as just jumping on a plane blindfolded but you may have some burning questions such as do I need to learn Thai?
Choosing a Thai Visa
Thailand is a very accommodating country for westerners with a range of visas tailored towards every different type of westerner out there.
Tourist Visa
For 60 days, you can explore Thailand in all its glory and if you really love it then there is the option to extend the visa for an additional 30 days by doing a visa run (leaving the country and coming back in).
If you want even longer than 30 days then you should consider converting your visa to a Non-Immigrant Visa.
Requirements: at least one year remaining on passport, proof of funds
Non-Immigrant Visa
This is a single entry visa valid for 90 days and you have the option of extending your stay by doing a visa run over a border or flying out to another country and back in again.
This visa allows you obtain a work permit and open a bank account and there are many helpful Facebook groups such as “Bangkok Expats” where you can get assistance in doing so.
Requirements: at least one year remaining on passport, proof of funds, you must be holding nationality or permanent residence of the country of application
One Year Non-Immigrant Visa
This visa is valid for a year (hence the name) though every 90 days you will need to do a visa run.
Requirements: at least one year remaining on passport, proof of funds, you must be holding nationality or permanent residence of the country of application.
Marriage Visa and Retirement Visa
These visas are surprisingly straight-forward than western countries; for a marriage visa you need to be married to a Thai national and for a retirement visa, you need to be 50 or over.
Before you can get either visa, first you need to obtain a non-immigrant visa which is then converted to a Marriage or Retirement visa.
Requirements for retirement visa:
- Must be 50 years old and above
- Passport (signed copies of each page)
- Non-Immigrant Visa
- Departure Card TM.6
- Thai bank account showing THB 800,000 prior to 2 months before application
- monthly income of at least THB 65,000
- Combination (Bank Account + Income x 12 = THB 800,000)
- Thai bank Book (original)
- letter from your Thai bank
- Three (3) 4×5 cm photos, with full face taken
Requirements for Marriage visa:
- Marriage certificate
- Letter from Thai bank
- Monthly income of THB 40,000
- Security deposit of THB 400,000 in a Thai bank account for 2 months prior to application
- Three (3) 4×5 cm photos, with full face taken
*if you are applying for the marriage visa outside of Thailand, you will additionally need a police clearance and a medical certificate.
Permanent Resident Visa
You need to have stayed in Thailand for 3 consecutive one-year visa extensions. If you are married to a Thai for 5 years and earn THB 30,000 a month then this can also qualify you for the visa. If you happen to be single, your monthly income should be at least THB 80,000.
Where to live In Thailand
Generally, western men who first come to Thailand will move to big cities such as Bangkok or Pattaya for a few months and build up a network of friends. It’s always good to have a foundation in a new country and making friends is easy.
If you are an avid sports fan, you can go to one of the many sports bars in either city and make new friends within minutes or go to comedy shows or even open mic nights such as the Bangkok Lyrical Lunacy.
Once a few friends have been established, finding your future Thai bride is a lot easier, not because you will have a few wing-men at the ready (which does help too) but because of some vital insider knowledge about where to find a few lovely ladies.
Keep in mind that it’s the norm for an older western gentleman to date a younger Thai woman so don’t worry about feeling judged by other westerners.
There are also the seedy areas of Bangkok and Pattaya to watch out for. While the Thai ladies there are beautiful and polite, it’s really not worth attempting to go on a date with one as they will only see you as a sex tourist and not husband material.
Signs That a Thai Girl Likes You
Initially when dating, it might seem difficult to figure out whether the Thai lady is genuinely interested in you or not. Is she being coy? Is she just really shy? Is she just smiling to be polite?
Thankfully there are a few telltale signs that indicate she wants to get to know you more.
Taking Lots of Pictures
Remember when you were a kid and you got a cool new toy and you brought it into school the next day to show all your friends?
Well, it’s a little like that. She will take loads of snaps with you and tag you in a million photos on social media.
She loves the fact she bagged herself a hunky western man and want’s everyone to know too.
Frequent Family Gatherings
While spending once a month with the mother-in-law is a nightmare for a man living in the west, it’s a blessing in Thailand.
Your Thai girlfriend wants you to spend as much time as possible with her family and really get to know them. If you were to only meet them once and it was at your wedding and never again, this would be a serious red flag.
Giving You Space
If your Thai girlfriend isn’t constantly trying to find out about your jobs salary, bank details or anything else then she’s definitely worth keeping.
Thai women understand men’s insatiable need for alone time or bro time and so you won’t get pestered if you like to go out for a drink or socialize in general. A Thai woman who is very controlling is usually someone to be careful of.
Buying You Gifts
After some time, she will know a lot about you (hopefully) and get you presents of things she thinks you will enjoy. From new running shoes to a bottle of whiskey, your Thai girlfriend will always look for ways to surprise you.
