We All Want To Be Superheroes

I have a memory: sitting in kindergarten with my head down, imagining I was the Incredible Hulk, defending a female character from the physical harm, by pushing this massive grey beast away from her.

The teacher always interrupted me by smacking me with a ruler (it was acceptable to hit kids back then).

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Children have a unique ability to survive despite all odds. We can face the worst trauma and abuse and continue living.

We naturally suppress and cope well into adulthood.

But, eventually, the trauma shows up in destructive cycles. It might show up as chronic aches. Or we hurt the people, or hurt ourselves.

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Growing up, I spent a lot of time watching tv. You could say, I was raised by it.

The Incredible Hulk, Power Rangers, and Spiderman were my favourite! It was exciting! It was death-defying! It was everything I ever wanted to be!

Most of all, it allowed me to survive.

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As soon as I was able, I stood between my parents, pushing him off of her. This continued for far longer than it should have. That was my reality.

In my head, I was the superhero.

Except, I couldn’t save her. Their still stuck in their destructive cycles.

Maybe it’s because they coped by watching superhero cartoons.

But instead of connecting with the hero, they connected with the villains.

We tell ourselves stories to stay away from change, just to rationalize the crippling fear of something new. Escapism is the most common coping tool.

My teacher ruined my superhero fantasies and I hated her for it.