Top Three Things I Would Not Hear if I Were a MAN Moving to New York, With Commentary:
“Maybe you’ll meet someone.” Unspoken implications when this is the initial response: I need a man so I can be a whole person, and this is, or ought to be, the foremost concern in my mind, above pursuing my own artistic passions, my career, and living close to family members.
2. “That’s something you need to do now, before you have kids.” First of all, I’m in my thirties, and most of my friends my age who are planning to raise a family are already doing that. Being unmarried and childless does not mean that there’s something the matter with my life and I need to get it fixed. P.S., This isn’t something I’m just going to do for a little while, “while I’m young,” so I can turn around in two years and stop doing all the things that do happen to be important to me and squish my life into a mold of other people’s choosing.
3. “I have a room on the Upper West Side, but in place of rent, you can agree to a friends-with-benefits situation.” A man would not be disrespected in this way. Women are not automatically all prostitutes just because men aren’t expected to limit their sexual urges.
Although I appreciate the well-intentioned sentiment behind comments like the first two, it’s important to be aware of the ingrained sexism we promote without realizing it.