I Love My Lump: An Unlikely Day To Celebrate
December 19, 2012. Lying in bed with Robin, talking and laughing was the normal order of a Sunday morning. Cherishing the morning to just relax and stay in bed as long as we wanted to. In fact normally I could not wait for Sunday mornings! Most Sunday mornings led to a sexual encounter, it was “our time” together, BUT this was a Wednesday. We had taken the day off to do some Christmas shopping. During our Wednesday morning encounter (I can’t tell the story without TMI sorry) I had rolled onto my left side, I felt something pressing into the side of my boob. At this time in my life I was wearing a long necklace that is in the shape of a guitar pick that has the Rolling Stones logo on it. I slept with the necklace on routinely. So I thought somehow the necklace got caught under me and was pressing into my boob. Then I realized that the necklace was actually lying over on my right shoulder. SO WHAT WAS PRESSING ON MY BOOB?
Until this day Robin and I had lived what some may consider a fairy tale life. World travel, abundant love, amazing relationship, health, great business success, amazing families, great friends and a great sex life! We were on a path to prove that you could have it all! At the beginning of 2012 we had been to China, walked on the Great Wall! We had an amazing adventure planned for the North Shore of Oahu to see the giant surf and a big wave competition in January 2013. We had one of the most successful business years since the economy had taken a slide and we were more in love than ever. How could anything go wrong?
So needless to say that morning sex came to a screeching halt as I moved my hand to feel what was pressing into my boob and discovered it was a lump in my breast. The fear of cancer spread over me like a wildfire. It ignited every notion of death I could conjure up, all that without even having a confirmation of cancer. It was powerful. Robin could sense the overwhelming contemplation of my mortality. I began
to cry, he held me. Then like always, strong and confident, he said, “lets go see the Dr. tomorrow and find out what that thing is.” I began to cry again, A Doctor? You think I need to see a DOCTOR… was all I could think. Of course Jesus Christ himself could have said that and I would been freaked out. With tears rolling down my cheeks I said out loud to Robin “This is going to change our lives forever”! I can still see the look in his eyes when I said that. All my “light” was sucked out of me in that very moment of putting my hand on my boob and finding that little lump!
Boy howdy was I right…that little lump did change our lives forever. That first year it was all about cancer diagnosis, cancer treatment, more doctor appointments than you can shake a stick at. Seriously, I went to the doctor more that first year than I ever have in my entire 45 years on the planet! We started our journey to health that first year. That alone is hard, but I was determined to keep cancer from ever coming back. Second year it was about recovering from the first year post cancer. We had new challenges, financially (cancer is very very very expensive), emotionally, sexually, new diet and did I mention financially? I thought in year two that I had jinxed us by uttering the words “This is going to change our lives forever!” At that point it seemed like a very dark change. I had beaten cancer to a pulp but all other parts of our lives were an uphill struggle. Going into the third year I was determined to find meaning in my little lump. I wanted to seek the purpose of my life. Why me… why then.. why cancer?
I have found that in the times of light (light = abundance) it is easy to get complacent about your place and your goals in life. After all if everything is going well why change anything? UNTIL you get a roadblock, a wrench, a disaster! Mine came in the form of cancer. I was going to need something to really throw me for a loop to discover my potential and my purpose. I needed something to shatter the fairy tale life I had. Cancer will do that! No I don’t think I was being punished, I think I was being directed. I was being directed to look deeper, to share my gifts, to shine my light. Who knew a little lump could do all that for you?
As I started looking for purpose in my cancer journey I had a billion ideas. My friends and Robin were so sick of hearing about my next “great idea”! They ran the gamut of an inspirational book to real live photos of breast cancer survivors and each of their stories. I never knew it would come in the form of
kitchen reformations! I never dreamed as I changed my lifestyle how much I was learning and absorbing. I never in a million trillion years would have thought that I would be teaching people healthy principals to live by. That little lump knew! One evening we were having dinner with friends and go2kitchens was born! That was January 2015! We launched our Facebook page in May 2015! Website June 2015! It has been the most purposeful thing I have ever done. I get photos daily, I get love notes saying how much I have helped, I get tearful phone calls thanking me for helping. I will say it again, it is the most purposeful thing I have EVER done in my life. One little lump changed our lives forever, I was right. Someone said today “your little lump is changing a lot of lives forever!” I can’t think of a better compliment!
Thank you lump!