Made To Bloom
In the right place, under the right conditions, we can now finally stretch out to become the person we’re meant to be.
I spend time in nature watching life awaken and unfold. The very same awakening process is what I witness unfolding in my clients. And I have come to see that humans are like plant seeds. We biologically adapt our behaviors to meet our environment, hoping that one day we will meet with the right elements to stretch out and bloom.
Within each seed lies an embryo, a working blueprint of a beautiful life-giving plant, waiting to bloom. The hard coat that covers a seed, like a peach pit or acorn, mostly exists to stall growth until the elements are suited for its survival. When the timing is right, the embryo in a seed starts to grow — it stretches out toward the light, blooming into its own true nature.
We too are perfect embryos with a working blueprint of our own unique beautiful life. And like the seed, we adapted by forming a hard outer coating to protect us from life’s inevitable setbacks. The shells of perfectionism, people pleasing, avoidance and rigidity served to protect us until we were old enough to survive without them.
Unlike the plant, the barrier to human blooming is an unconscious fear that we still need the hard outer shell to protect ourselves. Sometimes we aren’t even fully aware of our outer shell — blind spots prevent us from seeing our own hardness, fears, beliefs and adaptations.
Our life work is to identify our outer shell
We do this with help — coaching, therapy, meditation, mentors, risk taking, and nourishing relationships. We also help ourselves — we add a daily dose of self-compassion, self-forgiveness, patience and self-kindness.
And too, we use the scientific strategies and tools to support our growth and renewal. We notice and reframe our limiting beliefs. We notice and allow the full expansion of our painful emotions. We find the connecting thread between our trauma and resulting adaptations, then change our old narrative to a new one of hope, reconciliation and renewal.
Month by month, year after year, our outer shell begins to soften; and as our inner script begins to change, our environment begins to feel safe.
When we feel safe, we anchor in soft soil and began to germinate. As our true nature emerges, our priorities shift. Newly reborn, now with delicate scuffs in our shell, we feel exposed and vulnerable; so, we return again to our support systems and our tools.
We practice. We learn how not to fear any emotions that we feel. In so doing, we create a lattice shell that is both porous and resilient rather than fixed and unyielding. Our new shell’s porosity allows the germination and growth of all parts of us — light and joy, heartache and loss.
In the right place, under the right conditions, we can now finally stretch out to become the person we’re meant to be. Thus, being able to drive wellbeing from discovery is a recipe for a beautiful life, and resilience is enough to make any seed grow.
We were made to bloom.
Originally published at lesliesantos.com.