Is It Different When A Woman Cheats?

While Insecure is on hiatus, I will be reflecting back on episodes and dissecting parts that I found spoke to me. Here is what I got from Season 2, Episode 5; Hella Shook.

Is there ever a time where someone can get a pass for cheating? I mean, like really! This episode had people thinking that there actually is an acceptable reason to cheat and that reason is being a bum ass jobless partner for two years. In Hella Shook, Lawrence finds himself lurking on Facebook through Issa’s friends page to find exactly what he was looking for, which was Issa “spending her time being a hoe” kee-keeing with the man she cheated on him with; Daniel.

Looking for an outlet to let his hurt out, Lawrence decided to meet up with his married friend; Derek, for some drinks and guy talk. Hoping to get some sympathy about his heartbreak, Lawrence found himself being blamed for Issa’s infidelities. Derek made claims that Lawrence played a huge part in Issa cheating because he was unemployed for two years, “not doing sh*t.” When Lawrence challenged his theory asking, “So that gives her the right to f*ck some other dude?” Derek replies, “No. But I can see why she would be attracted to a guy who’s out there making things happen.” Lawrence already got cheated on and now he gets blamed for it by a friend. What in The Dunes is that!!!

Want To A Pass To Cheat? Support Your Jobless Partner!

This theory that if a woman supports her unemployed man, she gets a pass to go out there and cheat is quite the double standard. In this society, the world has put the weight of taking care of your family on the shoulders of men. Don’t you even dare be a man and claim the role of a stay-at-home dad without the crucifix being prepped for you. Since men have been appointed to be the bread winners, does that mean that they get a pass to go out there and cheat while you’re at home being a housewife? Do you see how this theory Derek has bestowed upon Lawrence is just so weak? Cheating is never okay nor should it ever be “understandable” behavior. If you’re not happy in your relationship and you believe you have found someone you think will be better, by all means go and get yours but don’t do so in a dishonest way. Cheating can never be justified on any occasion.

What Is Understandable?

I can honestly understand Issa wanting to be with someone “who is out there making things happen” as Derek put it. Two years with no job? Who is gracefully signing up to fill the position of the significant other of that jobless partner? Nobody *cue in Keith Sweat*! Imagine being in Issa’s shoes. Waking up early to get ready for work, kissing your man good-bye, working a busy 8 hour shift, to come home and see your man in the same pajamas that you left him in! When you let that visual sink into your mental, one can only sympathize with Issa and understand why she would want to be with another man who is at least working. Just because I can understand why Issa would seek that characteristic within another man, does not mean that she can just sexually jump on the opportunity without breaking it off with Lawrence first. She should have been honest with Lawrence and told him that Woot Woot and Best Buy was not how she saw her life and she thinks it is best that they take a break. As soon as Lawrence understood that they were broken up, then go ahead and start adding those guys to your hoetation (just joking… sort of… LOL). At the end of the day, honesty goes a long way. Honesty honestly saves lives.