11 LESSONS TO THE YOUNGER ME AND OTHERS
As life moves forward and we grow into this stage of adulthood, we often find ourselves trapped in different kinds of crises. The reasons may differ from dealing and understanding new responsibilities to figuring out yourself and those around you. Often you would be cursing yourself or blaming others for things that are happening in your life but instead you need to know that things will work out eventually. The 22 year old me still feels lost most of the time searching for answers and figuring why some stuff happen in a certain way but then as time passes, things always come around and you learn something new every time which in my opinion is a learning process of our adulthood transition. On the same note, there are few lessons I would like to share today with other young adults who are going through the same transition phase which I wished I’d knew when I started my journey into adulthood:-
1. Differences exist — Every person is different in this world, what may interest one person may not interest the other, what one may possess, the other could lack, the results are endless. You cannot let something that defines one person, define you. You have your own significance, perspective and strengths that make you what you are. This often happens during your adulthood transitions where you keep meeting new people in High School, then in College and then after at workplace.
2. You’re important — You have to acknowledge your own importance, realize your own potential and fulfill what you dream of. Nobody else understands you better than you, even though figuring out yourself will make you feel like you are everywhere but it’s a journey where your thoughts and opinions evolve and you have to stand for yourself.
3. Don’t let yourself down — It’s okay to feel let down, okay to feel lost but never lose the determination or the confidence in yourself. If you don’t do this, the world will bring you down. You cannot expect someone to always be there for you to carry you like a baby (Sometimes we are blessed with great family and friends but it’s a necessity to be independent).
4. Keep Setting Goals — Always set goals, not necessarily they all would work out and you will achieve them all but it will help in keeping you focused. As you grow, goals may change depending on your capabilities, situations and interests but bring that bucket list out, write them wishes and goals down and try to work for it atleast. You never know, you might find something that you would love for the rest of your life!
5. New Experiences — This the phase where you learn the most about people, life and yourself so always allow yourself to explore things around you, pick up new hobbies, try new things, learn things that will help you now and in your future (eg- Cooking), get into a healthy lifestyle, meet new people and let yourself be at ease when you move little away from your comfort zone.
6. Nothing is constant — Things won’t stay constant, they will keep changing. You might feel frustrated at a point of time because something that you wanted is not happening or it is not working out the way you knew it was supposed to but it’s fine. Sometimes we need to put in faith on the upper hand and little bit on us while continuing working on our part.
7. Stop looking for validation — We should keep reminding ourselves that we need to stop reaching out for validation and instead work towards achieving something that gives you satisfaction, happiness and inner peace. Do something because it feeds your soul rather than to please the others because people keep changing so will their expectations.
8. Know what will benefit you(forreal) — I would never say if studying bothers you or if putting in extra effort irks your soul, leave it but doing something to please someone else might in the long run will leave you in a circle of regret. You need to understand why something might be important to you, you need to understand how it may benefit you or help you reach your dreams/satisfy you/ give you peace.
9. Don’t hold back from working hard — Achieving anything in life will require you to work hard at some point of time or maybe at all times. Never turn your back just because you need to work hard for it. You might have always heard the phrase ‘Work Hard, Play Hard’.
10. There is a right time for everything and your priorities will keep changing — There is a right time for everything, many people spend this time beating themselves up behind finding the love of their life. I am not against dating or being with your loved one in any stage of your life but I personally suggest that instead it is more beneficial for you to work on developing themselves and trying new things. Your love and the right person will eventually find you. Also, as you grow, your priorities may change, this is the only time you get to be little selfish where you could do something to develop yourself so invest that time on learning things and growing.
11. People around you will keep changing — This is the stage where you will have different people coming in and out of your life, you might lose on some old friends, make some new friends who will stay by you for the next of the coming years, your relationships may change with different beings of your family or you may tie yourself up in new relationships but it’s a journey, don’t lose out on making good memories with each of them.
You don’t have to be selfish, your happiness may reside in someone else’s happiness, your satisfaction may reside in helping someone, your inner peace may reside in someone else’s peace but just don’t do it for the sake of it, this, most of time backslashes emotionally — lesson I keep learning and today sharing with those who are finding themselves stuck in this situation or slowly falling into this spiral.
- Written by Nabeela Amatul