NAI!RO!BI! [or the Moonlight Misconduct]
Speaking Lions: Episode Four
You find yourself breathless, exhausted, scared shitless, being chased by an angry, wounded and vengeful male African Elephant. It is 1908. You are of the hapless “natives” doing the heavy lifting in the hunting safaris the spoilt decadent white adventure seekers commission.
It is a lot of walking, but sometimes it is also running. For your life. And other people’.
The DRUNK two brats, in this particular case, are a crazy bull of a man and his equally demented son. They have roused the anger of an Elephant. The muscle of the Savannah. The Lion’s right hand. There are only two option here: run. Die.
You badly, badly, badly(!) want to choose the first one, but you cannot run.
But why?
Because you cannot leave these motherfuckers.
But why?
You can leave the younger one, Kermit. You do not like him. His name sounds like a puppet frog’s or something. But you cannot leave him.
But why?
Because his father will not leave him.
And you cannot leave the father.
Cannot leave the father.
Because why?
Because he the President of The United States.
Hahaha very funny.
Yeah, Teddy Roosevelt and his son; Kermit Roosevelt.
WHAAAAAAAT?
That is not the worst part.
You are still alive!
Congratulations!
The scare was not for nothing. I bring you good tidings! You will live! The Elephant won’t. A desperate shot will bring it down. Another majestic beauty going down to massage the egos of “hunters” who couldn’t survive an hour in the same wild without an explosive. Brave.
Here we will take a deep dive into the horors of game hunting, McMillan’s role in it, it’s connection to it’s descendant; poaching, and the stories of the Game trophies in the library.
They will make it too.
And they will head right back to the place the noble Maa, who had watched over all this wildlife and the Nyika people way before any white conservationist used money from colonial plunder to buy robes and descend to Africa wearing the saviour’s halo and a KFC Bucket, called Nakuso Intelon.
Roosevelt and his mini-me will spend the evening tossing heads back, laughing, and getting thoroughly sloshed at the Fairmont, with the same crowd that will pick their guns and shred the Kenyan heroes paid with their blood, flesh and bone during the Muthoni Nyanjiru Uprising. The blood that soaks the land the Norfolk, University of Nairobi, Central Police Station and Kenya Cultural Center is a testament to the fact that Kenyan have always believed in and fought had for the idea of freedom.
But, we are getting a bit too deep a bit too early.
Like wild rides? This one starts at the Norfolk and by the time it ends at Chiromo a few hours later, two major world religions, three countries, one super power, one Kingdom, a millionaire, a President, and an important community are pitted against each other.
It is the kind of escalation that can happen no where else but in NBO.
Jump on, lets Naify this story by visiting Mr. Uliza Kiatu.
