when the clock strikes 10.
Dear Sinag,
I was just casually scrolling through my TikTok feed last night when this AU appeared. It was about a sophomore girl who happened to meet a freshman boy through a dating application. She said that she’s into older men, but she was surprised that she was feeling an unfamiliar emotion when the younger one gave her “acts of service.”.
When I finished reading up until the latest post, I immediately switched applications and went to Messenger. Fortunately, our GC was active last night when I asked on our gc, “I am really curious; how does it feel to receive an act of service from a person who genuinely loves you?”. Gladly, a friend of mine replied.
Our circle was dominated by the “eldest daughter,” “eldest niece,” and “eldest granddaughter,” who were used to giving acts of service to their younger siblings or cousins.
My question became the reason why we were awake until midnight. We discussed different insights and shared that maybe we were longing for acts of service because we were tired of giving them to others.
We shared that we want to experience that someone will open the door for us; we want to experience that someone will order a meal for us when we go to cafes or restaurants.
On the other hand, my friend mentioned that she also wants to experience some physical touch, such as back hugs, holding hands, or when our future partner will gently hold our waist.
We were always longing for that warmth that we couldn’t experience. I admit, I am so tired of hugging these three pillows and being tucked in a blanket every night. Isn’t it weird that I have that many pillows and a nice blanket, but it doesn’t make me feel warm every cold night?
After our conversation, I realized that I am longing for something that could make me feel safe. I am longing for some comfort because I am tired of being the “strong and independent eldest daughter.” I also wanted to feel how it is to be the one that’s taken care of; I want to feel loved and be showered with warmth.
I started to beg Him if he could do something for me to meet someone who could shower me with genuine love, warmth, and comfort. Who could hold me in his arms when I’m vulnerable? I want to feel how it is to be someone’s someone.
When we looked at our conversation, we found it funny that we started talking about these things past 10pm. Is it really normal to feel like you were craving for love when the clock strikes 10?
Love,
Sinag
— TikTok AU: It’s a match! by @ allinwrites
A special mention goes to my friend, Jiyan, who stayed until midnight with me :>
