Why I gave up on myself……yet I feel more alive than ever

Looking at what I have accomplished at the age of 38 I realized that I have lost myself in a make believe world that Society and I have created. It has taken me 38 years to realized that all this time I have been wondering the world LOST. That’s why I don’t care anymore of my life plans / destiny or whatever direction I go because quite frankly I’m so lost that I do not know who I am or where I’m going…. To the point that I gave up on me. I know I should feel sorry for myself but in a weird way I feel more alive than ever!!!

Society has me stressed out because I’m 38, I’m not married and have no kids. I keep hearing from friends, relatives, acquaintances “ you better hurry before the train leaves you…… hurry to have kids before you cannot have kids……. Please don’t become that weird dog lady that everyone hates in the neighborhood”.

Society has me spending my hard earned money on apps to find me a guy. Society had me feeling sorry for myself because I didn’t want to let them down, till the beginning of this year when I said to myself , “Shit!!!I’m the happiest girl in the world”

I’m lucky to be alive, I’m lucky to have my parents and my siblings. I’m working, I have a job yes things could be better by winning the Lottery and paying all my bills but guess what world I’M FREE, I’M ME!!! And I feel ALIVE.

To all my peeps out there that feel that they have to please society, friends and family. Wake up look around you!!! You are free!!! You are you!!!! Live it!!!!

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