Do you remember your first heart break? Do you remember the first time you got rejected by someone you love? Did you recall that? Good because in this story we are going to look at what happened before that. Platonic love can be painful, desperate and disappointing. Why? Because it is created out of a perception called "love at first sight".
Becoming instantly attracted to someone because of their looks is not bad in particular but assuming they have certain character traits, a certain personality that can make us feel complete, accepted and loved is. Assuming she/he can be perfect for us or he/she might be the “one” has something to do with sadness. We tend to forget no matter how good looking or gorgeous people are everyone have insecurities, flaws, weaknesses and shortcomings.
Better genetics don't guarantee a better personality.
Because in the end we are all just human beings. Assuming and imagining what a relationship will look like with that person when it is started can be quite hurtful. Also you can become pretty disappointed when that person does not acts the way you expect.
By the way when you have all these expectations you are going to be terrified to make mistakes and show your flaws to the other person because your mistakes and flaws can end this relationship before it is even started. That’s how you become extremely nervous around someone you are attracted to especially when you overthink about the stuff. Your relationship with that person will look like a castle that needs to be conquered or a mountain that needs to be climbed. Unnecessary adversity, anxiety, overthinking and constantly trying to make sense of what happened and what does that mean will block your way. It is like trying to move a giant rock only to see it is not going anywhere.
You will be butthurt to see how easy other people have this handled and why it is so challenging for you. Also there will be a threat of rivals which means someone more attractive come in at any moment in time and steal your boy&girl which you were "working on" for several months.(or maybe in some cases years) Damn... For me that’s the worst way a person can live his/her own life and as you can probably guess this whole story comes directly from experience. Listen love and relationships does not have to be complex at all. It shouldn’t be that hard either. So stop hurting yourself and accept this one truth:
Some people will like you for who you are others won't.
No matter what you do you won't be able to get attention or love from some people. They are not going to respond to your calls, texts or efforts to keep in touch. They will never make time for you. However some people will respond. Let me give you some data about myself to give you a better perspective. This data comes directly from my observations. It was a fact that was quite hard for me to accept at first.
Out of 100; 70 people who had a chance to get to know me ignores me, other 29 dislikes me (or in some cases hates me) and 1 becomes a dear friend.
That’s the good scenario by the way. Sometimes that number drops to zero. Maybe something is utterly wrong with me or I am doing everything wrong. Either way I am done trying to make sense of why what happens happens. On the other hand sometimes someone comes out of nowhere and loves me for who I am interesting but true. We tend to chase who is hard to get and question easy acceptance trying to find that middle&sweet spot for both sides is called "attraction at its finest".
In the next story we will simplify love and relationships to a greater stand. Until then
Have A Great Day